Favorite Pierce Hawthorne Quotes
Pierce: Britta, you're the selfless one in the group, right?
Britta: Wouldn't know, haven't thought about myself in years.
Man, pizza guys are getting worse and worse looking. I guess all the good ones went into porn.
Troy: Abed, what are you doing?
Abed: Being myself.
Troy: Go be yourself by Jenny.
Abed: I wouldn't go over there.
Pierce: How do you know that?
Abed: A lifetime of observation mostly.
What are you doing in an apartment above Dildopolis? And when did they open a second location?
Nurse: Mr. Hawthorne is requesting Sour Face.
Pierce: Is that you death?
Britta: No it's me, Britta.
It began with a dream Annie. A dream and an impulse to hide in the men's room. I found that people were willing to roll bullets under the door just for the right to take a dump. By the way, for you guys, taking a dump is on the house.
Uruguay sounds like "you're a gay."
Will someone please call all the ambulances?
My brother died on the set of that movie! One of the mechanical spiders just went haywire and tore him to pieces, and Tom Selleck just stood there and watched him die.
Pierce: Let's have one drink before we work ... to the empowerment of words
Jeff: To the irony of that sentence
You can all hang out in your suspended humiliation and think about what you learned today. One, don't screw with me. Two, invite me to your crap.
Pierce: What are you? A North Korean seamstress?
Jeff: Not if that's bad.
