Professor Farnsworth Quotes
Farnsworth: Now, you'll only have one chance to destroy the ball. After that, it will be so close to Earth that blowing it up would cause garbage to rain over the entire planet, killing billions.
Bender: Oh, boo-hoo!
Farnsworth: Now here's the bomb I've prepared. Once you activate it, you'll have 25 minutes to get away.
Leela: That's all? But-
Farnsworth: Now, now, there'll be plenty of time to discuss your objections when and if you return.
Farnsworth: I'm a dried up husk of a scientist. This is all my fault.
Fry: No, it's my fault too. I'm sure I threw out more than my share of that trash up there. Also, one month my toilet broke and it just went straight in the garbage can.
Farnsworth: Wernstrom!
Wernstrom: The very same.
Farnsworth: Wait! If we could build an object the exact size, density and consistency of the garbage ball, it might just knock the ball away without smashing it to bits.
Leela: But where can we find a substance the exact density and consistency as garbage?
Farnsworth: Alas, I don't know.
Fry: Uh, what about garbage?
Farnsworth: If my calculations are correct, this garbage ball will knock the other garbage ball directly into the sun.
Wernstrom: And if my calculations are correct, we're all going to die horribly.
Poopenmeyer: Alright, places everyone. Prepare for launch.
Farnsworth: Five, four, three, two, three, four, five, six...
Leela: Just fire the damn thing.
Leela: Should we really be celebrating? I mean, what if the second garbage ball returns to Earth like the first one did?
Fry: Who cares? That won't be for hundreds of years.
Farnsworth: Exactly! It's none of our concern.
Fry: That's the 20th century spirit!
Leela: Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?
Prof. Farnsworth: Why, of course! It's just a name, like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror.
Prof. Farnsworth: Good news everyone!
Bender: I don't like the sound of this.
Prof. Farnsworth: You're all off to Trisol, a planet with three suns-
Bender: Here it comes-
Prof. Farnsworth: Deep in the heart of the Forbidden Zone!
Bender: Thank you and goodnight.
Prof. Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's.
Fry: What?
Prof. Farnsworth: Oh, my, yes. Fished to death. Just about the time your people arrived on Earth wasn't it, Zoidberg?
Zoidberg: I'm not on trial here.
Fry: So none of you has ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth and-
Zoidberg: Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying "One more can't hurt" and then they were gone. We're sorry!
Leela: You're Fry's relative. Do you have any idea how he got so crazy?
Prof. Farnsworth: Uh, what? Oh, yeah, they say madness runs in our family. Some even call me mad. And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters, atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood...
