The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Raj: Interesting. Penny's current suitor asking advice from Penny's former suitor.
Leonard: Thanks for close-captioning my pain, Raj.
Wolowitz: Okay, you two have to back off.
Raj: Why should I back off? You back off, dude.
Leonard: Excuse me, this is my apartment, and she's my roommate's sister.
Howard: So what? You've already got Penny.
Leonard: How do I have Penny? In what universe do I have Penny?
Wolowitz: So, I can have Penny?
Leonard: Hell, no!
Oh, Hallow-weenies!
Mummy was right. American girls are sexually voracious devils.
Leonard: What are you doing here?
Raj: I was sleeping!
Leonard: In MY bed?
Raj: Well, I would have slept in my OWN bed, but it was being used to bring shame to my family....and the memory of Gene Roddenberry!
I'm counting that as foreplay.
Jump up and down -- let's see if they jigggle
I had trouble putting it on and you tried to help and ... that's all she wrote.
Raj: Why are you on a diet?
Howard: I've put on a couple pounds. I buy these pants in the men's section.
Raj: Well, we've all seen your mom. That Butterball turkey was bound to come home to roost.
Raj: Aren't you gonna to eat lunch?
Howard: Nah, I blew my food allowance on Pokemon cards?
Howard: Wait. Wait. If it wasn't for Indiana Jones, the ark would never have ended up at the warehouse!
Sheldon: (gasps) That's true! He collected and delivered the ark to the proper authorities for filing.
Raj: Like a hero.
All: Yeah! Right! Yes!
Leonard: Although, technically, Indy was supposed to take the ark to a museum to be studied. He couldn't even get that done.
All: Aww.
Howard: If I may, he has so little self-respect and is so desperate for the smallest crumb of affection, she could literally sleep with his own father in his own bed and post the video to YouTube, and he'd still buy her flowers and ask her to be his bride.
Raj: He's right.
