The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Raj: Wool pants in the desert. I feel like I've got poached testicles.
Leonard: Oh, you poor thing, you're sweating. That is so much worse than having your car stolen.
Raj: Your insurance is going to buy you a new car. It's not gonna de-funk my junk.
Did we at least rent the car from Enterprise? Get it? Enterprise? Screw you. That's funny.
Raj: Aren't you gonna to eat lunch?
Howard: Nah, I blew my food allowance on Pokemon cards?
Howard wanted to write "mumbo jumbo," but I said no, our Sheldon would say "hokum."
Leonard: What are you doing here?
Raj: I was sleeping!
Leonard: In MY bed?
Raj: Well, I would have slept in my OWN bed, but it was being used to bring shame to my family....and the memory of Gene Roddenberry!
Raj: Whoa! What's your hurry, cowboy? Savor the moment.
[Raj and Howard slowly remove the plastic off Raj's new iPhone 4s]
Howard: Oh, yeah.
Raj: I'd like for you to call me sexy.
Siri: [chimes]From now on, I'll call you sexy. Okay?
Raj: Okay!
Raj: These methods come from the ancient gurus of India, and have helped me conquer my own fears.
Sheldon: And yet you can't speak to women.
Raj: True, but thanks to meditation, I am able to stay in the same room with them without urinating.
Sheldon: I can't give a speech.
Wolowitz: No, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.
Raj: Before the movie, you did twenty minutes on why guacamole turns brown. It turned brown while you were talking.
Raj: Hey, look, I found an iPod!
Wolowitz: Smashed beyond repair—what are you going to do with it?
Raj: What else? Sell it on ebay as "slightly used"
I'm glad men are wearing hats again. They are so distinguished.
Leonard: It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies; it belongs to him.
Wolowitz: Fine, he can have it back -- as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.
Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.
Wolowitz: Clearly, you've never been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashana.
