The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Wait, doesn't anyone have a-a Rod of Resurrection? If you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.

Mine just took me to his gynecology office. I got so bored I put vaginal lubricant on the bottom of my shoes and pretended I was ice skating.

Raj: You got this buddy.
Leonard: Yeah, come on, Howard. Hook that worm.
Raj: You can do it.
Penny: That's great. Cheerleading. Way to man things up.

Howard: Well, we appear to have reached an impasse. And, you know, I have to say, I thought you'd be more upset that your laptop is sitting on my junk.
Raj: I didn't pick up on that. That's a nice touch.

Raj: Okay, here's another one: if a zombie bites a vampire, and the vampire bites a human, does the human become a vampire or a zombie? Or, a zompire?

Oh, Hallow-weenies!

Ain't no party like a Koothra-party.

It's like we both had these holes in our lives, but now we fill each other's holes.

I'm in her head. Let the dance begin.

Stuart: Watch out ladies: a little coffee and cream coming your way.
Raj: In case you didn't follow that, I'm the coffee.

Raj: Stuart, you want to hang out tomorrow night? Maybe grab a bite to eat or catch a late movie?
Stuart: Yeah, I would like to, but I'm a little light on funds.
Raj: No problem. My treat, I'll swing by after work.
Stuart: [watches Raj leave] I could do worse.

Raj: What are you drinking?
Stuart: Coffee liquor in a Chewbacca mug. I call it a Sadtini.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 305 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Sheldon: Ugh! English pudding. Y-You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I'm not going.
Amy: You're going.
Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love, but it has a lot of raisins in it.