It worked. We printed a whistle.

Raj: Are they actually arguing about comic books?
Leonard: No, that can't be right.
Howard: Maybe "Thor's Hammer" is a new color of nail polish.

Did we at least rent the car from Enterprise? Get it? Enterprise? Screw you. That's funny.

Raj: Wool pants in the desert. I feel like I've got poached testicles.
Leonard: Oh, you poor thing, you're sweating. That is so much worse than having your car stolen.
Raj: Your insurance is going to buy you a new car. It's not gonna de-funk my junk.

Leonard: I wasn't screwing around with anyone.
Raj: Of course not. She was just sniffing around your goods because she was hunting for truffles.

Leonard: It's nice to have a young, attractive woman sniffing around the goods.
Raj: I both hate you and want to be you. It's Ryan Gosling all over again.

Raj: I talk with my eyes.
Howard: You look like my little cousin when he's dropping one in his diaper.

Not one cereal mascot is a girl. It's a total breakfast sausage fest.

Raj: I bought her a couple drinks and she gave me her email address.
Bernadette: "jennifer@notevenifyourethelastguyonearth.loser"

Wait, doesn't anyone have a-a Rod of Resurrection? If you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.

Mine just took me to his gynecology office. I got so bored I put vaginal lubricant on the bottom of my shoes and pretended I was ice skating.

Raj: You got this buddy.
Leonard: Yeah, come on, Howard. Hook that worm.
Raj: You can do it.
Penny: That's great. Cheerleading. Way to man things up.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Are you still mad about the sperm bank?
Leonard: No!
Sheldon: Do you want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?
Leonard: Not really.
Sheldon: If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters most people will trip.
Leonard: I don't care—two millimeters?! That doesn't seem right.
Sheldon: No, it's true! I did a series of experiments when I was twelve; my father broke his clavicle.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon