Howard: Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Raj: Why don't you put your mother in a home?
Howard: To be honest, she'd do better in the kennel.

Well, that all stinks. No wonder you all got cancelled. Bye.


I do have a pretty balls-to-the-wall moisturizing regime.

No wrapper's gonna tell me what to do, unless it's Jay-Z.

Raj's girlfriend: Who's your favorite player?
Raj: Not Brian Boitano, that's for sure.

I've got to go be more butch. Tootles.

Howard: So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.
Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn't you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart?
Howard: The key to her heart. That's nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women: Sir Elton John.

Howard: People change names on blogs to protect their privacy. Roger is Raj.
Raj: Oh, I always thought, if I had a white name, it would be Gavin.

Mummy was right. American girls are sexually voracious devils.

Raj: I can see my little princess while I'm at work, right?
Howard: Why can't you just watch porn like a normal guy?

Sheldon: Are you implying my girlfriend doesn't have any sexuality to exploit?
Raj: Yes
Sheldon: Okay, because that was not clear.

I'm counting that as foreplay.

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj