The Big Bang Theory

Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes (Page 9)

Raj: You slipped and fell into a robot hand?
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes. Now help me!
Leonard: I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Raj: Howard wanted to write "mumbo jumbo," but I said no, our Sheldon would say "hokum."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Raj: I'm telling you, dude. The only way to feel better about Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Raj: Go away! She wants New Delhi, not Kosher Deli!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leonard: You still have a cold?
Raj: Maybe, but I don't care. That's the good thing about NyQuil -- it's like, 10% booze. I call it the "nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine."
 • Rating: Unrated

Raj: Do you think you'll go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork?
Wolowitz: Jews don't have Hell. We have acid reflux.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Raj: Does the elastic woman in "The Incredibles" use birth control or can she actually be a diaphragm.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Raj: Ahh, the premature I love you.
Wolowitz: : I guessed premature, does that count?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Wolowitz: Okay forgot giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.
Sheldon: Rabbits do have a respiratory system that would support great size. And as a side note, they are one of the few animals whose scrotum is on the front of the penis.
Raj: Maybe that's what they want to talk about.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Raj: These methods come from the ancient gurus of India, and have helped me conquer my own fears.
Sheldon: And yet you can't speak to women.
Raj: True, but thanks to meditation, I am able to stay in the same room with them without urinating.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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