Wolowitz: This is the thing from the pizza box that keeps the lid from touching the cheese.
Raj: Is that what this is for? In India, the lid just touches the cheese. Of course, we also have rampant poverty and periodic outbreaks of chlorea so a little cardboard on our cheese is no biggie

If you really want to clean up your Karma, go get my fricking latte

Raj [to Leonard]

Raj: Interesting. Penny's current suitor asking advice from Penny's former suitor.
Leonard: Thanks for close-captioning my pain, Raj.

Leonard: Hey, how's it going?
Wolowitz: Cut the crap, you set this up, didn't you?
Leonard: Yes..
Wolowitz: She's a hooker, isn't she?
Raj: A prostitute, yes
Wolowitz: You already gave her the money?
Leonard: Yes
Wolowitz: ... Thank you

Raj: We should have a plan in case one of us gets lucky
Leonard: Umm... okay...if I get lucky, I'll take her to my stately manner outside Gotham City. If you get lucky, I'll sleep on the moon
Leonard: Sounds like a plan

Raj [about Wolowitz]: Too bad he wasn't here for that hooker. She was exactly his type: a hooker

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Raj: I'm telling you Leonard: Video slots, free drinks brought to you by a bosomy barmaid, and all-you-can-eat shrimp for $3.99. Disneyland can suck it. This is the real "happiest place on Earth"

Raj: The Wolowitz coefficient?
Wolowitz: Neediness times dress size squared

Raj [referring to making Penny Blossoms]: You know if I wanted to do this on a Saturday night, I would have stayed in India
Wolowitz: Drop the third world country act. Your father was a gynecologist and you had a houseful of servants
Raj: We only had four servants and two of them were children

Wolowitz: Unlike you, I can actually talk to women while I'm sober.
Raj: You fail to take into account that even mute, I am foreign and exotic, while you on the other hand, are frail and pasty.
Wolowitz: Well ... you know the old saying: "Pasty and frail, never fail"

Raj: If you don't like this stuff, let's just go next door and build her a bear.
Sheldon: I told you before, bears are terrifying

Leonard: Every time I try to talk to her about moving out she cries, and we have sex.
Raj: You're lucky. With me it's usually the other way around

TBBT Quotes

I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!

Sheldon

(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj