The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Amy: It's a beautiful night. Why don't you and I go for a nice walk together?
Sheldon: Everything is just sex with you, isn't it?
Raj: Sheldon, I think you might find the support you're looking for, if you realize that relationships are a give and take. She can only be there for you as much as you are for her.
Amy: Thank you, Rajesh.
Raj: And, Amy, you need to be patient with Sheldon, instead of pressuring him to accept intimacy on your terms.
Amy: You should probably go.

Leonard: I can't believe they kicked you out.
Raj: I can't believe they're still married.

Raj: I'm being a good houseguest.
Howard: No, you're being a better husband than I am.

There's also a time to stop eating too many jelly beans. And it's when you're ten.

Howard: She spends half the time licking her butt.
Raj: And the other half licking my face.

It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without an Indian providing the food.

Raj: That's horrible. Why would you push a cow over? They're sacred.
Penny: Oh, stop it. I've seen you eat, like, a million hamburgers.
Raj: Hey, an animal can be both sacred and delicious.

Oh, it's okay. I have no morals and I'm desperately lonely. I'll be the other man if you want a little something-something on the side.

Howard: If I may, he has so little self-respect and is so desperate for the smallest crumb of affection, she could literally sleep with his own father in his own bed and post the video to YouTube, and he'd still buy her flowers and ask her to be his bride.
Raj: He's right.

Why is the key always confidence? How come it's never love handles and flop sweat?

Check it out. You can wear yours and we can have little sword fights whenever we want.

My dad says it's because the sound of my mom's voice makes him want to tear his ears off and sew them over his eyes so he never has to look at her again.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 299 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Raj: Okay, here's another one: if a zombie bites a vampire, and the vampire bites a human, does the human become a vampire or a zombie? Or, a zompire?

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