How I Met Your Mother

Robin Scherbatsky Quotes (Page 18)

Lily: Oh Robin, that's a really cute outfit.
Robin: Really? Thanks..
Lily: Yea, it has to go, I'm the bride and you can't look better than me
 • Rating: Unrated

Carl: Hey, there's a call for Swarls Barkley. Swarls Barkley?
Robin [taking the phone]: Hey, Ted. No he's not here. Nice one though. Remember that one
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily [talking about Mr. Druthers]: He was mean. And that's why I took away his ball.
Ted: What's the ball have to do with anything?
Lily: Druthers have to be taught he can't behave like that. When I was teaching kindergarten, whenever a kid was mean, I would take away one of his toys. The kid would be upset at first but then he'd learn to stop being mean.
Robin: Hey guys, what's going on?
Ted: Lily stole my boss's baseball signed three times by Pete Rose.
Robin: Why? Was he being mean?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: Okay, we have to get Lily out of that apartment. Her roommate is a raccoon.
Robin: I'd offer her my place, but I have dogs and she's allergic.
Ted: Dogs? I live with her ex-boyfriend. I think she's more allergic to that.
Robin: What about your place, Barney? I know it's surrounded in mystery, but it's gotta have a couch.
Barney: The Fortress of Barnitude?? No way.
Robin: Oh come on. She's desperate.
Barney: Mmm, normally a prerequisite for the women I bring home, but pass
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: Is that a toilet in your kitchen?
Robin: Or a stove in your bathroom?
Lily: Oh...that's not just a stove. That's a stoveinkerator! A combination of a stove, oven, sink and refrigerator. Stoveinkerator! Isn't that futuristic?!
Ted: God I hope not
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: He asked her to a party?! Oh my God, are you okay?
Robin: Okay? It's awesome! It's a win-win: Ted got to vent and I don't have to hear it. Maybe after he's done with the talky-talk, he'll come over and I'll get the fun part
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: Hey Carl, is Ted still here?
Carl: No. Hey Lily! Still single?
Lily: Yes.
Carl: You know, I've poured a lot of free drinks for you over the years. A lot.
Lily: Carl, do you really wanna be with a woman who would trade sex for beer?
Carl: Only if you're into it. [pours a beer] It's on me.
Lily: Thanks!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: Hey! How was your day?
Robin: Good
[Robin kisses Ted and smiles]
Ted: ... Wow, you're a great interviewer. Aren't you gonna ask me how my day was?
Robin: No, I know how it was. It was awful. Oh, you wanna rent a movie tonight?
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: I'm a genetic goldmine! No family history of diabetes or heart disease, and everyone has non-porous teeth and perfect eyesight. I had one schizophrenic uncle, but even he had perfect vision... which was unfortunate for the people around the bell tower he was in
 • Rating: Unrated

Future Ted: The thing about a hangover is that everyone has their own special remedy.
Waiter: Morning, guys! What can I getcha?
Lily: Shhhhhh.....bring me the dirtiest, greasiest Tuna Melt you got. And a milkshake.
Waiter: For you, sir?
Ted: Uggh....gravy.
Waiter: Do you want that gravy on something?
Ted: ...Surprise me.
Robin: I'd take you with gravy if my boyfriend wasn't sitting right here, hee hee! Just kidding, I'm good!
Lily: What are you so chirpy about?
Ted: She's still drunk from last night.
 • Rating: Unrated

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