If you bring your boss to class, it automatically bumps you up a full letter grade. So... I'd be stupid not to do it, right?

Michael: Oh hey, Kevin, nice of you to join us, where were you?
Kevin: My tire blew out on the way here, Michael.
Michael: Huh?
Kevin: I almost died. I... I went into this skid...
Michael: Pop quiz.
Kevin: ...What?
Michael: Why is today a special day?
Kevin: I almost died.
Michael: Today's a special day, because I am being honored as a... visiting... professor, special lecturer, emeritus... how did you, how did you...
Ryan: You will be a guest speaker... in my Emerging Enterprises class.
Michael: In business school, Kevin. Business school.
Kevin: Wow.

Ryan: He hasn't even said a word yet. Just giggling.
Michael: [Pokes Ryan with a sex toy] Gotcha, oh! [Phone rings] Yes?
Jim: Are you okay?
Michael: I'm in the, I'm in the sex shop.
Jim: Ah, gotcha.

Jim: Hey, Ryan?
Ryan: What?
Jim: You wanna pull a prank on Andy?
Ryan: Not right now, but ask me again 10 years ago.
Jim: I liked you better when you were the temp.
Ryan: Yeah, me too.

Ryan: Hey, do you mind if I take the lead on this one and then you can critique me after?
Stanley: You want the lead?
Ryan: Yeah, if you don't mind.
Stanley: Mind? Nothing would delight me more.

I am very flattered. I was his second choice after "Pass."

Michael: I need my entourage. Jim, Dwight, Ryan, c'mon - we're going to Asian Hooters.
Ryan: I'm not feeling so well. I've got a ton of work to do here. MSG allergy, peanut allergy, I just ate there last night.
Michael: Alright, feel better.
Jim: Wow, thanks for taking all the excuses, dude.
Ryan: Doctor appointment, car trouble, plantar warts, granddad fought in World War II. Use your head, man. Look alive, Halpert.

I miss the days when there was only one party I didn't want to go to.

Ryan

Michael: You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop da soap. Don't drop da soap.
Ryan: Michael, please.

Ryan: They really didn't like me.
Dwight: They did not. But they didn't have to say it to your face.

Dwight: Why did Robert Mifflin commit suicide?!
Ryan: Um... he was depressed.
Dwight: Wrong! He hated himself! What ... is the DHARMA Initiative?!

Dwight: Just as you have planted your seed into the ground, I will plant my seed into you.
Ryan: I don't think you realize what you're saying.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 160 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

Dwight
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