Ryan: Well, today was a fantastic waste of time.
Michael: I disagree, I think it was very valuable.
Ryan: Michael, technology helps business OK? You should not resist it, this is the way the world is moving.
Michael: I happen to think the old ways of doing business are better. And I can prove it.
Ryan: Ok. I look forward to hearing your ideas.

Ryan: Jan.
Jan: Ryan. Ryan. Ryan, Ryan.
Ryan: So elephant in the room, I have your old job.
Jan: Well, not exactly my job... I had a different title.
Ryan: Oh well, excuse me, same office, same responsibilities.
Jan: Different salary. You'll get there, don't worry.
Ryan: Well... you look great.
Jan: Thank you, thank you.
Ryan: Scranton suits you.
Jan: Best decision I ever made.
Ryan: You were let go.
Jan: You know what? I love the beard. Keep it forever.

Kelly: I want you to tell me that you care about me. That is what I want.
Ryan: Kelly, I'm your boss now, OK? You can't keep talking to me like I'm your boyfriend.
Kelly: Oh big strong man, fancy new whatever. I don't think you ever cared about me.
Ryan: I never cared about you? Six months ago Karen Filipelli sent me an email. Asked me out. I said no, because I was committed to our relationship.
Kelly: Well, I hope you're still committed because I'm pregnant.

Ryan: So, how are you?
Kelly: Awesome. I am dating a lot of guys.
Ryan: Good.
Kelly: A lot. Black guys mostly.
Ryan: Kelly...
Kelly: What?!

Ryan: OK, what's up?
Michael: Yeah, kay. I was just... After the presentation, just wanted to make sure, that vis-a-vis, that everything in the office is business as usual?
Ryan: Well it is business, but not as usual.
Michael: Yeah, I know I understand... we're making great strides and we're updating, but business as usual, no?
Ryan: No. We're throwing out the entire playbook, we're starting from scratch, we're implementing a brand new system.
Michael: Good, so, we're on the same page?
Ryan: No. We're not. Michael, I know exactly how much time and man power are wasted in this branch. This company is getting younger, faster, more efficient. You need to prepare yourself

Ryan: This is a massive overhaul. We're getting younger. Sleeker. And more agile so that we adapt to the market place. All essential personnel will be issued Blackberries for company use.
Michael: Ohhhh. Gimmme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
Ryan: I'll stick around to help you set them up afterwards. Any questions?
Dwight: What if we don't want to use a Blackberry because they are stupid and pointless?
Ryan: This is company-wide, Dwight.
Dwight: Got it.
Ryan: Andy?
Andy: We should call it Dunder Mifflinfinity. You know, push the words together?
Ryan: Any other questions?
Kelly: Can we speak privately about our relationship?
Ryan: Thank you everybody.

Dunder Mifflin Infinity represents a floor to ceiling streamlining of our business model. The center piece of the campaign is a new business-to-business website interface that will allow us to compete directly with big box chains.

Michael: Woooo! I think Ryan has a gay crush on me.
Ryan: Enough! OK? This is inappropriate and it stops right now. Do you understand?
Michael: Yes, everybody, come on. Settle town. Let's get serious here. Um Ryan, has a very special, important presentation to do, which we will be doing in the conference room in ... 10 minutes?
Ryan: Perfect.
Michael: Sounds good. OK, alright.

Michael: Fire guy. Don't start any fires, Ryan.
Andy: Fire guy!
Kevin: You weren't here for that.
Andy: Here for what?
Kevin: When he started the fire.
Michael: Look how big he is. Look at you, you are so mature and old and little man now. You're like our little man...
Kevin: Little old man boy.
Ryan: Michael and everybody, umm...
Michael: Beard.
Kevin: Bearded man boy.
Ryan: ...let me just say something. I know I used to be a temp here, but now everything is different. I'd like your respect. I am your boss now. You're gonna have to treat me that same way you treated Jan.
Michael: Oh, wow!
Ryan: So...
Michael: That's a little kinky. I don't swing that way.

People keep calling me a "Wunderkind" ... I don't even know what that means. I mean, I know what it means, it means very successful for your age, so I guess it makes sense, but... it's a weird word.

Michael: So I need a little treat for the gang. Something to win their affections back.
Ryan: Back? Why is that Michael?
Michael: Well, I ran down Meredith in my car.
Ryan: Oh! Did you do this on purpose?
Michael: No, I was being negligent. But she's in the hospital, she's fine, recovering nicely. Tiny little crack in her pelvis. But she will be up in...
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael: Yes. It was on company property, with company property, so... double jeopardy, we are fine.
Ryan: I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael: Oh, right, I'm sorry. What is: we are fine?
Ryan: [sigh]

Michael: My lord my liege.
Ryan: Yes, Michael?

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 160 in total

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The Office Quotes

Michael: Did I ever tell you about the day that Steve Martin died?
Pam: Steve Martin's not dead, Michael.
Michael: I know. But I always thought that the day that he died would be the worst day of my life. I was wrong. It's this.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael
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