Favorite Sam Oliver Quotes
Ben: Damn. We look good.
Sock: I'm thinking of touching myself.
Sam: Not in my car, please
Devil: I was able to obtain some information one of her many, many, many erogenous zones. Just stroke her earlobe, and she'll do anything. Anything.
Sam: There is something really wrong with you.
Devil: What? Encouraging a young man to succumb to his primal and perfectly natural instincts. Sharing the fact that Taylor's in her experimental phase? Is that bad?
Sock: The password is "Grumpy."
Sam: I don't want to know.
Sock: The cat that we had, you sicko... No, I'm kidding, it's totally a name for my junk
Devil: Love? There's no such thing. I'm talking real passion, lust.
Sam: You don't think love is real?
Devil: The French invented love so they could put a civilized face on a primal urge. Dress it up with candy and hearts and cubic zirconium. In the end it all comes down to endorphins and genitalia
Sam: Sock, Sock, don't do something stupid.
Sock: Sam, I am almost certainly going to do something stupid. It's in my blood. You know that
Sam: There's no way you're being this nice to me.
Devil: Hey, I'm not Ted. What a dick
Sock: So, did he get all foamy at the mouth and twitchy when you zapped him?
Sam: Not really.
Sock: Too bad. You probably did it wrong
Sock: All right, we gotta go to my house so I can pick up one of my sports coats.
Sam: Uh, you don't own a sports coat.
Sock: We gotta go to your dad's house so I can pick up one of his sports coats
Sock [about Andi]: You need to ask her out again, and again, and again. All right? You need to be persistent, like the ocean. Little waves of Sam crashing on the shores of Andi until she gradually wears down.
Sam: Or she gets a restraining order
Devil: I need you to go handle some plumbing.
Sam: What, so now I'm your handy man? That's not part of the deal.
Devil: Actually it is. I own you, Sam. If I ask you to take out the garbage in Hell, that's what you'll do
Sam: I'm good at stuff, okay. Other stuff. Right?
Sock: Yeah, you do rock the house at Guitar Hero.
Sam: That's what I'm talking about
Sam: Wait a minute, so people can break out of Hell?
Devil: Yeah. That's a problem we've been having lately, what with overcrowding and so forth. Honestly, we were underprepared for the influx. I blame myself. But that's not your problem. All you have to do is track down fugitives and haul their asses over to a portal to Hell. Easy.
Sam: What do you mean by portal?
Devil: Well, any place that seems like Hell on Earth, is Hell on Earth, you know? The DMV on Union Street? Yeah, drop off a fugitive, renew your license. I'm all about the perks.
Sam: Oh, my God.
Devil: Hey, kiddo, it's okay. I've seen how this all ends. Don't worry, God wins
