Samantha Jones Quotes
Samantha: Well, lets, just say it, you won.
Carrie: Was there a contest?
Samantha: Oh, please, there's always a contest with an ex. It's called who will die miserable.
Carrie: Big's leaving his wife.
Samantha: I knew it.
Cahrlotte: Oh my God!
Miranda: No!
Carrie: He got drunk and told me at the furniture show.
Miranda: What was he doing at the furniture show?
Carrie: Drinking and leaving his wife.
Samantha: What are you going to do?
Carrie: She's not going to do anything.
Charlotte: Okay, you need to take a big breath, cause your starting to bug me.
Samantha: How dare he say that to you? Married men, never leave their wives.
Carrie: Even if he did, I have no intention of doing anything, for two reasons; first I have a great boyfriend and second I'm not insane.
Carrie: So what, causal head is back now?
Samantha: Oh, it's fine, his healthy and I don't swallow.
Carrie: Well, as long as you and the Center for Disease Control are fine with it.
Samantha: I'm dating a guy with the nastiest tasting spunk.
(the girls glare at each other and Charlotte gets up and leave)
Miranda: And she's never coming back.
Samantha: Well, I'm sorry, who else can I talk to about this?
Carrie: Might I suggest no one.
Samantha: You are my girlfriends, help me? Have you ever had this problem?
Miranda: Not really, but I have to admit, that it's never been a trip to Baskin Robbins.
Miranda: You know, if the whole cum situation were reversed, do you think men would get anywhere near the stuff?
Samantha: Maybe, if it tasted like beer.
Miranda: Didn't you feel like punching him?
Carrie: No, it was too sad or something.
Miranda: I would've punched him
Charlotte: No, it is sad. How long has he been married, what, seven months?
Samantha: Um, the seven month itch.
Charlotte: Oh, my God! Vagina Weights.
Samantha: Honey, my vagina waits for no man.
Samantha: This is a catalog for pre-menopausal women.
Miranda: New Transitions, nice name.
Samantha: Why don't they call it what it is? J Crew for women who are drying up, and FYI, I'm not in transition, I'm happening.
Carrie: Those muchies took my last tampon. Are you packing?
Samantha: No, okay, I'm not, I don't have a tampoon, and I'll probably never need one again.
Carrie: A simple no, is good enough.
Samantha: I haven't had my period in thiry-five days.
Charlotte: Are you....
Samatha: No, I'm not pregnant, I'm.....I'm drying up.
Carrie: Oh, come on, your overreacting, it was a stupid catalog.
SamanthaI'm day old bread and my time is up.
Miranda: For, someone with no period, you got a mean case pf PMS.
Carrie: You have years of miserable cramps ahead of you.
Samantha: Ladies, what I'm about to tell you may come as a shock, I'm a little older than you. (shakes her head)
Charlotte: I think the watch is a sign, that his in love with me too.
Samantha: Ah, his not in love, his in blue ball hell.
Miranda: Well, I for one can't wait for menopause. Do you realise how free it would be not to have or periods.
Charlotte: Oh, I can't wait till flow stops coming to town.
Samantha: No one calls it flow.
Miranda: I think my grandmother did.
