Santana: You wanted that memorial gone because you're such a cold-hearted bitch.
Sue: What did you just call me?
Santana: A miserable, self-centered bitch who has spent every waking minute of the past three years trying to make our lives miserable. I'm officially over it.

Isn't it amazing how life seems so easy when you just don't give a fart? I mean look at this. Hummel is getting married. Berry is just full of confidence. And I finally have a girlfriend who I don't have to worry about straying for penis.

I mean, if you're producing that much yeast you should probably start a bakery.

[to Rachel] Okay, no, come on. You are not playing Yenta the lesbian matchmaker.

Rachel, that's Gunther. [whispers] Don't tell him if you're Jewish or black.

Santana: You're acting like a completely different person and it's making me sad.
Brittany: Well get over it because sadness is stupid.

The last thing I want to do is pay 30 grand a year to get a degree for doing something that I'm already freaking Wonder Woman at.

Your boyfriend wasn't a cater waiter he was a Gigolo; like Magic Mike with happy endings, for money.

I don't even think you need all of these beauty products Rachel because they're not really having the desired effect, unless your goal is to look like a reject from the Shahs of Sunset.

[to Rachel] My psychic Mexican third eye is never wrong.

Rachel, you can't just blow past this like nothing ever happened. This is a wake-up call. This is an opportunity for you to take a hard look at the choices that you're making, where your life is heading.

Santana: I have something to say and I have tried to keep it to myself but I will be silent no longer.
Rachel: What is it?
Santana: That Brody character is a freakin' psycho.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

I just want somebody to love me.

Quinn