New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl

There's two of you! I thought we were in the middle of a budget crisis!

I don't celebrate Christmas, or as I like to call it, "White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night."

He's a player. Why would a good looking person ever become a doctor?

Everybody hates the Jews! Your mom's in the majority! I'll convert to Indianism!

You my boo and I been missing you. I been missing you oh so long.

I'd put it in a bowl and eat your hair.

Nick: I don't get it. Is this bath water?
Schmidt: Might as well be; it's rosé.

I can't believe I have to have feelings to have good sex. I thought I'd be dead before that happened.

Schmidt: Would I have to put my legs in the stirrups?
Melissa: Why would you even ask that?
Schmidt: I'm asking more so out of curiosity than fear. Hashtag, excitement.

You are a gynecologist and a lesbian. This makes you a vagenius.

I feel like our bodies really made something. Like we brought manufacturing jobs back to America.

Schmidt: Look at that plating. It is impeccable.
Big Schmidt: Nice squeeze bottle work there, Bobby Flay.
Schmidt: He is still relevant!
Big Schmidt: Where? Phoenix?

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 149 in total

New Girl Quotes

It's a sexy place Jess, look at the CPR poster.

Coach

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick
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