Nick, please do not angry-fix the sink.

Winston: So that means you're gonna do whatever I say?
Schmidt: I mean as long as it's gangsta...or not. It doesn't have to be.

I wanna be the black friend you never had.

You were so light and charming you were like Pixar Winston.

Let's let Winston turn on his black switch. And let his black light shine.

There's two of you! I thought we were in the middle of a budget crisis!

I don't celebrate Christmas, or as I like to call it, "White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night."

He's a player. Why would a good looking person ever become a doctor?

Everybody hates the Jews! Your mom's in the majority! I'll convert to Indianism!

You my boo and I been missing you. I been missing you oh so long.

I'd put it in a bowl and eat your hair.

Nick: I don't get it. Is this bath water?
Schmidt: Might as well be; it's rosé.

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I don't know the words!

Jess