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New-girl

I feel like our bodies really made something. Like we brought manufacturing jobs back to America.

Schmidt: Look at that plating. It is impeccable.
Big Schmidt: Nice squeeze bottle work there, Bobby Flay.
Schmidt: He is still relevant!
Big Schmidt: Where? Phoenix?

You're getting your scent all over my pillow. It took me months to get rid of that heavenly curry smell.

Schmidt [to Cece]

Jess: Now, if you'll excuse me gentleman, I'm going to go get a job — like it's my...
Schmidt: Job?
Jess: SHUT UP!

We sold our qualms. We used the profits to buy perfect bodies.

There's a fine line between sexual harassment and something awesome.

What am I looking at here? Robbie, man to man, you didn't want to wear something a little more form-flattering, maybe like a pile of towels? Or the number 8?

Schmidt [about Rob's green spandex]

I may not be Abraham Lincoln. But I witnessed the emancipation of one black guy tonight.

Cece: I know you have more costumes in your closet.
Schmidt: Those costumes are for Purim.

Without sex, she's not your girlfriend. She's a friend you buy meals for.

College Nick: You like rap music? Who's your favorite rapper.
College Schmidt: Brian Austin Green.

Winston: Schmidt is tired of doing things for you that go unnoticed — lining your shoes up at the door.
Nick: Don't line my shoes up at the door.
Winston: Recording your favorite shows. The turn-down service.
Nick: The turn-down service is weird, and I never asked you to do that.
Schmidt: Well I guess those chocolate mints just disappeared on their own.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 139 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
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