Schmidt: Have you ever dated two women at once?
Rabbi: What are you talking about? I went to camp. They used to call me the octopus.

I'm a hero Nick, just tell me I'm a good man. I really need to hear it.

So yeah, I was dating them both at the same time. I'm a mess, I can't sleep, I urinate constantly. I cried the other day listening to a techno song. My tweets have been extremely literal.

Enjoy the break-up. If you need me, I'll be in my room, listening to some mainstream hip-hop.

Cease lovemaking! All lovemaking must cease!

Human dental dam!

She's older--MUCH older--DEEPLY Korean.

Tough time in Schmidtsburgh.

Let's talk about it, in my perfect two-thirds replica of Don Draper's office.

Schmidt: No sig oths.
Cece: Just say "significant others."
Schmidt: Maybe you have that kind of time, but I'm on a tight sched.

I wouldn't even begin to know how to steal a swag.

Look at this puzzle. It's "ages 6 and up." You are "up," Winston. You are very "up."

New Girl Quotes

Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!

Schmidt

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt