Schmidt Quotes (Page 8)
Season 2, Episode 1: "Re-launch"
Jess: I got laid off.
Winston: What!?
Nick: Are you serious?
Schmidt: Obama...
• Rating: 4.4 / 5.0
Jess: I thought we talked about you not wearing your shower diaper in the kitchen!
Schmidt: Excuse me? Do you think this has been easy? To wash myself wearing a penis cast all summer?
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 24: "See Ya"
Schmidt: When Nick leaves, I'm gonna call a plumber and just throw money at him while he works.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: I get that. Your business is selling sex. You're a sex worker.
CeCe: You're an idiot.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
CeCe: Are you "White Fanging" me?
Schmidt: What?
CeCe: White Fang? The only book you have on your Kindle. The book you wouldn't stop talking about, and I said, "Would you please stop talking about White Fang" and then you said, "Someday, I'm gonna do that to somebody".
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 23: "Backslide"
Schmidt: Jess, first of all, you're never gonna be old, humans are going to be immortal by 2026. Second of all, give me your phone. You have backslider written all over you.
• Rating: 3.7 / 5.0
Schmidt: Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They're like the people version of pleated pants.
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 22: "Tomatoes"
CeCe: Make sure you use protection.
Schmidt: CeCe, she's a foreigner. What do you think I am? An idiot?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: You like me? You like my personality?
CeCe: I was surprised, too.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 21: "Kids"
Schmidt: CeCe, are you pregnant?
CeCe: I don't know. We have to wait for the test results, but I'm late.
Schmidt: We made a caramel miracle!
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 91