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New-girl

Cece: You look like a character from The Love Guru.
Schmidt: Aw, thank you.

Schmidt: I don't really know what that accent is.
CeCe: English.
Schmidt: I speak English. That isn't English.

Nick: Band of Brothers!
Schmidt: Your friendship means nothing to me. Every man for himself!

Schmidt: I'm gonna have sex tonight. Are you two in?
Winston: Is that the way you wanted to say that?

Dammit! Been trying to get something going with myself for a full hour. It's like a taffy pole on a hot summer's day.

They make shoes for your penis! They're called pants!

Winston said you make fun of my gremlin toenails. That you call them clickety-clacks or centaur boots.

Schmidt: A pogo is what your friends talk about when you leave the room.
Cece: Oh like your barnacle toenails?

I know what my pogo is. It's that I dance like a sea snake.

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