South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralPopular Sheila Broflovski Quotes
Sheila: You're upsetting the Jewish community!
Mr. Garrison: You are the Jewish community!
Mr. Garrison: It's not my fault you're raising him Pagan.
Sheila: Jewish!
Mr. Garrison: Whatever.
Sheila: Gerald, do something about your smartass son!
Gerald: Uhh...mind your... mother, smartass.
Guy: Hi!
Sheila: Hi. Uh, do I know you?
Guy: Oh no, but I never miss a bris! I brought some dip.
Sheila: Oh great.
Mrs. Broflovski: Are you sure you stayed over at Kenny's house?
Kyle: Yeah, dude, I told you, we had bread sandwiches for breakfast.
Mrs. Broflovski: Did you sleep in the same room?
Kyle: Yes, why?
Mrs. Broflovski: Bubbe, how would you like to spend the night at your friend Kenny's house again?
Kyle: No way, dude, it sucked ass, they don't even have cable.
Mrs. Broflovski: Well I think you need to spend more time with your friend.
Kyle: Kenny's not really my friend, Ma, I don't give a rat's ass about him.
Mrs. Broflovski: How would you boys like to have a little slumber party at your friend Kenny's house tonight?
Cartman: No way, dude, Kenny's family is poor, they live in the ghetto.
Mr. Broflovski: Remember when we built that huge fort in your backyard?
Mr. McKormick: (laughs) Yeah, it took us nearly 2 damn years to finish it. (laughs)
Mr. Broflovski: (laughs) Whatever happened to that old hunk of junk?
Mr. McKormick: (firmly) That's where I live now.
Mr. Broflovski: Aren't weekends the best?
Mr. McKormick: When you're unemployed, weekends are meaningless.
Mr. Broflovski: Oh, ri-right, of course.
Mrs. Broflovski: You certainly have a humble home Mrs. McKormick.
Mrs. McKormick: Yeah, well, unfortunately my husband is a washed up hunk of s(beep)t!
Mrs. McKormick: You want some more hot water?
Mrs. Broflovski: Oh, no thank you, it's terrific though. You don't have any tea bags or coffee grounds to go in the hot water do you?
Mrs. McKormick: No, we don't care for any of that hoity-toity rich folk stuff.
(Kyle walks in on his parents in bed together)
Kyle: Don't worry guys, I'm getting an erection as we speak! Well actually it's Cartman that's getting the erection but after he's gonna come over and give it to you, so buck up!
(Kyle leaves)
Sheila: We have a very strange little boy Gerald.
Gerald Broflovski: Principle Victoria are you aware that my client was being harassed at your school?
Principal Victoria: Well not any more than any other student.
Gerald Broflovski: So you admit that harassment goes on?
Principal Victoria: I don't know.
Gerald Broflovski: You don't know, Your the principal!
Principal Victoria: I can't be around them every second.
Gerald Broflovski: So it does go on!
Principal Victoria: Alright alright i killed him. I hit him over the head and I cut up the body. I tried to burn it but it wouldn't burn. Oh the smell of it. I put the legs in garbage bags and hid the torso under a bridge. I had to do it.
(Principal Victoria starts crying)
Principal Victoria: Oh god!
Gerald Broflovski: Principal Victoria was Eric Cartmen called an a** Sucker yes or no?
Principal Victoria: I believe so yes.
