Sheldon Cooper Quotes
Sheldon: I meant ALL women are slaves to their biological urges. Even you. You're a slave.
Mrs. Davis: I'm a what?
Sheldon: I'm just saying at a certain point in a woman's menstrual cycle...
Mrs. Davis: Don't. Stop. You can't say that.
- Permalink: I meant ALL women are slaves to their biological urges. Even you...
Alex: I have to go.
Sheldon: So does this fellow, but he can't without it burning like hot soup.
- Permalink: I have to go. So does this fellow, but he can't without it bur...
Alex: What did I do?
Sheldon: You don't know? Oh, you poor dear. Your ovaries are squirting so much goofy juice into your brains you don't even know which way is up.
- Permalink: What did I do? You don't know? Oh, you poor dear. Your ovaries...
Giant Jenga! I win.
- Permalink: Giant Jenga! I win.
Leonard: I grew up in a house full of crazy academics. Instead of leaving Santa milk and cookies, we had to leave him a research paper. And, in the morning you could tell he'd been there because that paper would be graded.
Sheldon: No wonder you love Christmas. That sounds amazing.
- Permalink: I grew up in a house full of crazy academics. Instead of leaving...
Stuart: What's wrong with Christmas?
Sheldon: Where to begin? Trees indoors, overuse of the words "tis" and "twas," and the absurd custom of one stocking. Everyone notice socks belong in pairs. Who uses one sock?
Howard: A pirate with a peg leg.
Sheldon: Actually, that helps. Thank you.
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Amy: By rolling dice and playing make believe with little figurines?
Sheldon: Like a bunch of savages.
- Permalink: By rolling dice and playing make believe with little figurines? ...
Sheldon: Is anyone else troubled by the Spider-Man theme song?
Leonard: Why would it trouble you? It's like your third favorite cartoon theme song.
Sheldon: It is, right behind [Sheldon sings "Inspector Gadget" and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" theme songs]
Sheldon: However, the Spider-Man lyrics posit that Spider-Man's Spider-Man does whatever a spider can.
Howard: Yeah, so?
Sheldon: I can think of many things that Spider-Man can't do that a spider can. One crawl in your ear and die, two legally leave Guatemala without a passport, and three have sex with a spider.
- Permalink: Is anyone else troubled by the Spider-Man theme song? Why woul...
Amy: Oh my.
Sheldon: Excuse me, you aren't supposed to be enjoying this.
Amy: Then maybe you should spank me harder.
Sheldon: Maybe I will.
- Permalink: Oh my. Excuse me, you aren't supposed to be enjoying this. T...