The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSSheldon Cooper Quotes
I love my mother. Even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel.
Apparently any man is welcome in his house, why not you?
Sheldon: Can you recommend a surface you haven't had coitus on?
Mrs. Cooper: That's not funny. Maybe we should sit at the table.
Mrs. Cooper: Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
Sheldon: I saw you having naked sex.
I used to live in those genitals. And if someone wants to move into my old room, I should at least get a vote.
Sheldon: Do you have any idea what it's like to see your mother ravaging someone?
Howard: Does a brisket count?
I saw my mommy with a naked man and she was trying to be a mommy again.
Howard: Should we stop holding hands now?
Sheldon: In a minute.
Howard: Okay, good.
Oh, apple juice. Stay where you are.
Penny: I'm sorry, is the fact that my life's falling apart interfering with your board game?
Sheldon: It is.
Sheldon: Ten years ago upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I look like C-3P0 and Pee-Wee Herman. And he called me C-3P-Wee Herman.
Raj: Still funny.
Howard: Hey, I work at the same university you do.
Sheldon: Yes, and Hawkeye's in the Avengers but no one ever says, "Help, Hawkeye!"
