The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Sorry, I replaced you with a newer model.

Sheldon: No, go ahead, say it. I know what it is. I've heard it my whole life. The word's "annoying." Go ahead, say it. Say it. Say I'm annoying.
Amy: Sheldon...
Sheldon: Oh, it won't hurt my feelings. Go ahead, Amy, say I'm annoying. I'm annoying. I'm annoying. I'm annoying.

And, not just on the cheek. On the mouth ... like mommies and daddies do.

Leonard: Buddy, I don't think you can. I mean, once it's out there, it's out there. This thing is like the science equivalent of a sex tape.
Sheldon: You know, frankly, I'd prefer a sex tape.
Leonard: You don't know what a sex tape is, do you?
Sheldon: No.

Amy: So you just got lucky?
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper doesn't get lucky.
Amy: You and me both.

I feel like my mind just made a baby. And, it's beautiful. It's not like human babies which are loud and covered in goop.

Amy: Sheldon, you're not a weirdo.
Sheldon: I wasn't speaking about me.

Oh, please. I'm your boyfriend. You call me Sheldon. That's right. I'm in a relationship with this cute little lump of wool. It's a physical relationship, too. Hand-holding, hugging ... even on hot days.

Ah, Sweden. Yeah, home of my favorite Muppet and, uh, second favorite meatball.

Sheldon: You sure your mothlike personality won't be drawn to this blazing fire that is myself?
Amy: More and more sure.

Don't be insulted. He just thinks too much of you would be mind-numbingly tedious.

Howard: Wait. Wait. If it wasn't for Indiana Jones, the ark would never have ended up at the warehouse!
Sheldon: (gasps) That's true! He collected and delivered the ark to the proper authorities for filing.
Raj: Like a hero.
All: Yeah! Right! Yes!
Leonard: Although, technically, Indy was supposed to take the ark to a museum to be studied. He couldn't even get that done.
All: Aww.

Displaying quotes 157 - 168 of 760 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon