Sheldon: Then why are you doing it?
Mrs. Cooper: Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. And that man's booty is.

I love my mother. Even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel.

Apparently any man is welcome in his house, why not you?

Sheldon: Can you recommend a surface you haven't had coitus on?
Mrs. Cooper: That's not funny. Maybe we should sit at the table.

Mrs. Cooper: Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
Sheldon: I saw you having naked sex.

I used to live in those genitals. And if someone wants to move into my old room, I should at least get a vote.

Sheldon: Do you have any idea what it's like to see your mother ravaging someone?
Howard: Does a brisket count?

I saw my mommy with a naked man and she was trying to be a mommy again.

Howard: Should we stop holding hands now?
Sheldon: In a minute.
Howard: Okay, good.

Oh, apple juice. Stay where you are.

Penny: I'm sorry, is the fact that my life's falling apart interfering with your board game?
Sheldon: It is.

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Sheldon: Ten years ago upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I look like C-3P0 and Pee-Wee Herman. And he called me C-3P-Wee Herman.
Raj: Still funny.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Sheldon: Nothing more fun than a paradigm shifting evening of science.
Penny: (to Leonard) And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower.