Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

Leonard, you're being selfish. We need to give you a proper send-off so we'll have closure when you die at sea and crabs eat your face.

Sheldon: Things between you and Penny have never been better. I hope 4 months apart doesn't change anything.
Leonard stops car.
Sheldon: I should have opened with that, huh?

Who do you think would win in a fight -- you or a shark?

Leonard: I know what you are doing. You don't want me going on this research trip because you're afraid to be alone.
Sheldon: I'm not afraid to be alone. On the sea, it would be terrifying. Because of all the drowning.

Sheldon: I have not ruled it out.
Amy: Wow. Talk dirty to me.

See what happens when you let girls play D & D.

Sheldon: It would -- fun? Yeah, okay, three weeks ago, you brought crunchy peanut butter but now you want the girls to play D & D -- do you have a drug problem?
Leonard: What's the big deal?

Leonard: See, Howard is just as good a dungeon master as I am.
Sheldon: As good? You just got pantsed in the school yard four eyes.

Leonard: Sometimes change is good. You were worried about Zachary Quinto being the new Spock, but you ended up liking him.
Sheldon: Leonard, please, every time the topic of change comes up you throw Zachary Quinto in my face. I'm upset the mailman has a new haircut -- Zachary Quinto. I'm upset daylight savings time started -- Zachary Quinto. I'm upset daylight savings time ended -- Zachary Quinto. I'm saying this for the last time. Zachary Quinto was a weird, wonderful, unrepeatable event, so stop using him against me.

Professor Proton: Just- just call me Arthur.
Sheldon: Leonard ... Did you hear that? Professor Proton said I should call him Arthur. That means we're friends.

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I still can't sleep.

Howard: How'd you get him to come to your house?
Sheldon: As Professor Proton says, "There is no problem you can't solve if you use your noggin."
Leonard: And, he wrote him a check.
Sheldon: Yeah, that too. A big check.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 703 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

x Close Ad