I used to live in those genitals. And if someone wants to move into my old room, I should at least get a vote.

Sheldon: Do you have any idea what it's like to see your mother ravaging someone?
Howard: Does a brisket count?

I saw my mommy with a naked man and she was trying to be a mommy again.

Howard: Should we stop holding hands now?
Sheldon: In a minute.
Howard: Okay, good.

Oh, apple juice. Stay where you are.

Penny: I'm sorry, is the fact that my life's falling apart interfering with your board game?
Sheldon: It is.

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Sheldon: Ten years ago upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I look like C-3P0 and Pee-Wee Herman. And he called me C-3P-Wee Herman.
Raj: Still funny.

Howard: Hey, I work at the same university you do.
Sheldon: Yes, and Hawkeye's in the Avengers but no one ever says, "Help, Hawkeye!"

Well, isn't this nice? Sometimes the baby wins.

Amy: You don't need to explain yourself to him.
Sheldon: I don't need to explain myself to you!
Amy: You're sick of his nonsense and ready to move in wth me.
Sheldon: Keep the table! We don't use that space!
Amy: Damn it, I got cocky.

Sheldon: How do I know that you're not manipulating me right now?
Amy: I think if I were manipulating you, you'd be smart enough to see it.
Sheldon: How do I know you're not saying that as part of the manipulation?

Sheldon: No, I've changed. Like the frog who's put in a pot of water that's heated so gradually he doesn't realize he's boiling to death.
Penny: Or you're the frog who's been kissed by a princess and turned into a prince.
Leonard: Or, you're just a tall, annoying frog.

TBBT Quotes

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Raj

Sheldon: Even the dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating fece, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. So, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.