Amy: I'm sorry, but "Gollum" and "Flakey" are not acceptable.
Sheldon: Well, you don't like "Princess Corncob," you don't like "Fester" -- you're just impossible to please.

Uh ... who's Angie Dickinson?

James Earl Jones: Why don't you and your friends come to Comic-Con with me?
Sheldon: Really?
James Earl Jones: Of course. And San Diego is right across the border from my favorite city on Earth, Tijuana.... where I'm taking you every night!
Sheldon: Ay-yi-yi.
James Earl Jones: Ay-yi-yi. Bang. Bang.

James Earl Jones: What were you asking me at the strip club?
Sheldon: Oh. How much does it cost me to get them off my lap?

Sheldon: Hey Los Angeles! I'm on a ferris wheel with Darth Vader! He's nicer than you think!
James Earl Jones: I am!

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James Earl Jones: Let me guess. You like Star Wars.
Sheldon: [nods yes]
James Earl Jones: You know, I've been in other movies.
Sheldon: [nods yes]
James Earl Jones: But you don't care about you, do you?
Sheldon: [shakes head no]
James Earl Jones: I have one thing to say to people like you. I like Star Wars too.

Raj: So that's it. Everything's sold out?
Leonard: Yeah.
Howard: I can't believe we're not going.
Sheldon: It's okay. You know, there-there's always WonderCon in Annheim, you know? That-That's just as good. ... Excuse me. [Cries]

Raj: Anyone in?
All the Guys: No!
Sheldon: Do not stop refreshing your screens!
All the Guys: Refresh. Refresh. Refresh....
Penny: Yeah, this is not gonna be enough coffee.

Raj: Oh, I have to go to the bathroom so bad.
Sheldon: Every year! I told you, wear a diaper!
Raj: And I told you I get diaper rash!

Penny: Why are you sitting in the stairwell?
Sheldon: Leonard told me to stay.
Penny: Oh. Well, good boy.

Sheldon: *whines*
Penny: You want to come with me?
Sheldon: Really?
Penny: Come on boy! Come on! Let's go!

Sheldon: I've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies they can draw water in through their genitals.
Penny: Yeah well I don't think we're going to get to do that today.
Sheldon: Too bad. Seems like a good way to drink a milkshake without getting brain freeze

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Raj: Well, to paraphrase Shakespeare: It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography.
Penny: Oh... you poor baby.
Raj: What's wrong with me, Penny?
Penny: Nothing, nothing. You know, if we weren't friends - and you hadn't brought up that creepy pornography story - I'd be on you like the speed of light squared on matter to make energy.
Raj: Hey, you totally got that right. E = MC squared.
Penny: I listen. I have no idea what it means, but I listen.