Howard: Hey, I work at the same university you do.
Sheldon: Yes, and Hawkeye's in the Avengers but no one ever says, "Help, Hawkeye!"

Well, isn't this nice? Sometimes the baby wins.

Amy: You don't need to explain yourself to him.
Sheldon: I don't need to explain myself to you!
Amy: You're sick of his nonsense and ready to move in wth me.
Sheldon: Keep the table! We don't use that space!
Amy: Damn it, I got cocky.

Sheldon: How do I know that you're not manipulating me right now?
Amy: I think if I were manipulating you, you'd be smart enough to see it.
Sheldon: How do I know you're not saying that as part of the manipulation?

Sheldon: No, I've changed. Like the frog who's put in a pot of water that's heated so gradually he doesn't realize he's boiling to death.
Penny: Or you're the frog who's been kissed by a princess and turned into a prince.
Leonard: Or, you're just a tall, annoying frog.

Sheldon: I have spent years turning this lump of clay into an acceptable conduit for my will, and then you came along and reshaped him, with your newfangled ideas and your fancy genitals.
Penny: Are you gonna let him talk to me like this?
Leonard: "Fancy" sounds like a compliment.

Amy: I deserve romance, and I didn't know how else to make it happen.
Sheldon: Well, if you want romance, then let's have romance! Oh, look, there's wine. Mmm. Grape juice that burns. Uh, now let's gaze into each other's eyes, hmm? You blinked I win. Let's see. What's next? Oh, kissing's romantic.
Amy: That was nice.
Sheldon: Good.

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I'm prepared to say I love it, as soon as I confirm there are no hobos aboard.

Sheldon: Howard, which pocket watch will you be wearing at dinner on the train?
Howard: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm afraid if we wear the same pocket watch, it will be embarrassing.
Howard: I don't own a pocket watch.
Sheldon: Oh, my.

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Amy: I'm sorry, but "Gollum" and "Flakey" are not acceptable.
Sheldon: Well, you don't like "Princess Corncob," you don't like "Fester" -- you're just impossible to please.

Uh ... who's Angie Dickinson?

James Earl Jones: Why don't you and your friends come to Comic-Con with me?
Sheldon: Really?
James Earl Jones: Of course. And San Diego is right across the border from my favorite city on Earth, Tijuana.... where I'm taking you every night!
Sheldon: Ay-yi-yi.
James Earl Jones: Ay-yi-yi. Bang. Bang.

TBBT Quotes

Raj: Well, to paraphrase Shakespeare: It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography.
Penny: Oh... you poor baby.
Raj: What's wrong with me, Penny?
Penny: Nothing, nothing. You know, if we weren't friends - and you hadn't brought up that creepy pornography story - I'd be on you like the speed of light squared on matter to make energy.
Raj: Hey, you totally got that right. E = MC squared.
Penny: I listen. I have no idea what it means, but I listen.

Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
Howard: What a sick use of science.
Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.