Penny: I'm sorry, is the fact that my life's falling apart interfering with your board game?
Sheldon: It is.

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Sheldon: Ten years ago upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I look like C-3P0 and Pee-Wee Herman. And he called me C-3P-Wee Herman.
Raj: Still funny.

Howard: Hey, I work at the same university you do.
Sheldon: Yes, and Hawkeye's in the Avengers but no one ever says, "Help, Hawkeye!"

Well, isn't this nice? Sometimes the baby wins.

Amy: You don't need to explain yourself to him.
Sheldon: I don't need to explain myself to you!
Amy: You're sick of his nonsense and ready to move in wth me.
Sheldon: Keep the table! We don't use that space!
Amy: Damn it, I got cocky.

Sheldon: How do I know that you're not manipulating me right now?
Amy: I think if I were manipulating you, you'd be smart enough to see it.
Sheldon: How do I know you're not saying that as part of the manipulation?

Sheldon: No, I've changed. Like the frog who's put in a pot of water that's heated so gradually he doesn't realize he's boiling to death.
Penny: Or you're the frog who's been kissed by a princess and turned into a prince.
Leonard: Or, you're just a tall, annoying frog.

Sheldon: I have spent years turning this lump of clay into an acceptable conduit for my will, and then you came along and reshaped him, with your newfangled ideas and your fancy genitals.
Penny: Are you gonna let him talk to me like this?
Leonard: "Fancy" sounds like a compliment.

Amy: I deserve romance, and I didn't know how else to make it happen.
Sheldon: Well, if you want romance, then let's have romance! Oh, look, there's wine. Mmm. Grape juice that burns. Uh, now let's gaze into each other's eyes, hmm? You blinked I win. Let's see. What's next? Oh, kissing's romantic.
Amy: That was nice.
Sheldon: Good.

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I'm prepared to say I love it, as soon as I confirm there are no hobos aboard.

Sheldon: Howard, which pocket watch will you be wearing at dinner on the train?
Howard: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm afraid if we wear the same pocket watch, it will be embarrassing.
Howard: I don't own a pocket watch.
Sheldon: Oh, my.

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Amy: I'm sorry, but "Gollum" and "Flakey" are not acceptable.
Sheldon: Well, you don't like "Princess Corncob," you don't like "Fester" -- you're just impossible to please.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.