An entire dinner to talk about your research? Where you goin, the drive thru at Jack In The Box

Amy: This year's donations may go to, say, the geology department.
Sheldon: Oh dear, not the dirt people.

Your critical attitude is ruining our Saturday night together, and I'm not above minimizing your window.

It's not a touch phobia, it's a germ phobia. If you'd like to put on a pair of latex gloves I'll let you check me for a hernia.

There once was a brave lad named Leonard, with a fie fie fiddle dee dee. He faced a fearsome giant while Raj just wanted to pee.

I sense that you're trying to slow walk me to an epiphany. Would you mind very much jumping to it.

Penny: Let's try some improvisation.
Sheldon: Why not? It seems you're improvising your entire curriculum.

Sheldon: I didn't want to teach those poopy heads anyway!
Howard: FYI I think that's what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.

Sheldon: I'm not aware of the acronym KMN.
Leonard: From the context we think it means 'kill me now.'

I was expecting applause but I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate.

Please tell me you are not having coitus.

Radio contact is sufficient, no need to extend your middle finger.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Are you still mad about the sperm bank?
Leonard: No!
Sheldon: Do you want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?
Leonard: Not really.
Sheldon: If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters most people will trip.
Leonard: I don't care—two millimeters?! That doesn't seem right.
Sheldon: No, it's true! I did a series of experiments when I was twelve; my father broke his clavicle.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon