I sense that you're trying to slow walk me to an epiphany. Would you mind very much jumping to it.

Penny: Let's try some improvisation.
Sheldon: Why not? It seems you're improvising your entire curriculum.

Sheldon: I didn't want to teach those poopy heads anyway!
Howard: FYI I think that's what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.

Sheldon: I'm not aware of the acronym KMN.
Leonard: From the context we think it means 'kill me now.'

I was expecting applause but I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate.

Please tell me you are not having coitus.

Radio contact is sufficient, no need to extend your middle finger.

She made the case that if we break down in the middle of nowhere, your Nebraska backwoods skills and brawny hands will give us the best chance to survive in the wild.

Remember people we're only as strong as our weakest bladder.

Leonard: What are bus pants?
Sheldon: They are pants one wears over ones regular pants when one sits on bus seats others have previously sat on.

I won't say that all senior citizens who can't master technology should be publicly flogged, but if we made an example of one or two, it might give the others incentive to try harder.

Obviously, we're no longer a Justice League. We have no choice but to switch to our Muppet Baby costumes.

TBBT Quotes

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Raj

Sheldon: Even the dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating fece, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. So, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.