Leonard: Well, it wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?

Dr. Plimpton: What if there's a disaster that destroys all of the USB ports?
Sheldon: Then there's really no reason to live, is there?

Leonard: I think any university would want you -- except, of course, any university that had already had you, because they would have already wanted you, before they, you know, got you.
Sheldon: From the mind that brought you "hi-lo."

I have a lady friend who will be staying with me for a few days. I want her to feel at home; I also bought scented soaps, pantyhose, Midol, calcium chews, and what is apparently a yogurt specifically designed to regulate the female bowel.

Leonard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Leonard: Yes, but mixed with a little bit of concern.

And now, as promised, the tangent. Sheldon and the Hell-hound. Or. How I Lost My Hot Dogs.

Allegiance to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.

Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.

It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I'd hate to think that effort to be in vain.

Sheldon: This is for you
Penny: Ice cream?
Sheldon: I've been familiarizing myself with female emotional crises by studying the comic strip, "Cathy." when she's upset she says, "ack" and eats ice cream.
Penny: Ack.
Sheldon: If you were a cat, I would have brought you lasagna.

Sheldon: Enjoy the accolades now, Wil Wheaton. But like your time on Star Trek: The Next Generation, your smug self-satisfaction will be short-lived.

A common spare. The Miss Congeniality of the Bowling Pageant.

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj