Favorite Sock Quotes
Sam: You guys think it's kind of weird we replaced our parents with a couple of gay dudes?
Sock: Weird, Sam? No. Genius
Steve: Would you guys like to come in? I just made a pot of ginger tea.
Sock: No, no thanks, we're straight
Sock: So we're dealing with a hot soul that kills even hotter women? Is there anything wrong that I'm aroused and disgusted at the same time?
Ben: Yeah, probably, but you shouldn't wouldn't beat yourself up over it.
Sock: Thanks, Benji
Sock: Hey, did the doctors x-ray you?
Andi: Yes.
Sock: Good. I have a theory about radiation. You're exposed to enough in your lifetime, you have a greater chance of getting... cooler mutant powers.
Andi: Yeah, but I don't think I really want mutant powers, Sock
Ben: I mean, they're like our cool, fun uncles.
Sock: Benji, have you ever had a cool, fun uncle?
Ben: Uncle Hector.
Sock: Uncles are creepy by definition, okay? Have you not been watching your SVU?
Ben: I hope she likes peppermint.
Sock: You could have gotten her any flavor in the world you wanted to, and you gave her peppermint! Really?
Ben: Yeah, why?
Sock: Ben, everybody knows peppermint is for jerks, right?
Ted: But she did call me over to her place tonight to help her hook up her DVR. And I think we all know what that means.
Sock: Yeah, that means she wants you to hook up her DVR.
Ted: No, hooking up any appliance is classic gay porn terminology for getting it on. And I'm pretty sure that that translates over to the hetero arena
Josie: For the record, I dated you because you're sweet, you don't care what other people think, and you made me laugh.
Sock: I am all of those things. So, ummm... wanna make out?
Now listen to me, Ben. I'm going to spit some scientific fact at you. The longer most men are in a relationship, the happier they get. The opposite is true for the lady folk, okay? So we would just like to see you happy making a woman miserable, like we're both doing
Sock [filling out fake application forms]: What college did you attend?
Sam: Harvard.
Sock: I went to Oxford.
Sam: Yeah, but I also went to Yale Medical School
Sock: I research alternate power sources.
Sam: I have a 4-foot vertical leap
Sock: Did you hook up with Sara?
Ben: No, no. I... no! I just... got married.
Sock: What the Hell are you talking about?
Ben: She needed a green card and I felt sorry for her, okay? And look, it just happened all really quickly.
Sam: Yeah, so she's living here now?
Ben: Just for a little while, you know. Just to make it look real.
Sock: You are too stupid to exist!
Ben: Why? I like Sara. I think she's great. I think she'd make an excellent citizen, and she paid me 1,600 bucks.
Sock: You know, I take it all back, buddy. That is awesome. That is outstanding. She is beautiful! Beautiful! We got married!
Sock [about Sam telling Andi about his duties]: How'd it go?
Sam: Where the Hell were you guys? I was dying over there. She didn't believe any of it.
Sock: Sorry. I had to wait for the chili cheese fries.
Ben: My wife called
