Sookie St. James Quotes
Lorelai: What's the opposite of ennui?
Sookie: Off-ui. Hey, I'm cured!
Sookie: (about Rory) Call her now. Ooh, page her, or page her and have her call my cell phone and we can sing the money song from 'Cabaret.' You be Liza, I'll be Joel.
Lorelai: I don't know.
Sookie: Hey I'm Joel.
Hi, for that much money you wake her up! You hire a singing telegram! Women jump out of cakes! People dress up like bankers and dance around with those toasters!
</i> Sookie
Lorelai: So you're saying Luke thought I made up a crazy story about a chick being loose in the house just to get him in bed?
Sookie: Not just to get him in bed, but maybe he thought you wanted to see him and you didn't know how to say it.
Lorelai: That's nuts.
Sookie: A woman asking a man to come over late at night to her house. Come on.
Lorelai: Yeah. But this is Luke we're talking about.
Sookie: Uh-huh. Why did you call him?
Lorelai: Because I needed help.
Sookie: Yeah. Why didn't you call me?
Lorelai: Because I assumed you would be with Jackson.
Sookie: Uh-huh.
Lorelai: Well I did.
Sookie: Why didn't you call Rory?
Lorelai: Because she would have been furious to find out that Stella was missing.
Sookie: Why didn't you call Patty? She raises chickens.
Lorelai: Sookie.
Sookie: Or Andrew? He lives right around the corner, doesn't he?
Lorelai: What is your point?
Sookie: My point is that you called Luke. Out of all the people in town that you could have called that would have come over and dropped what they were doing, you called Luke.
Lorelai: Because I had just been with him. We were picking out paint samples. He was on my mind. It was purely a timing thing.
Sookie: Picking out samples.
Lorelai: Yes.
Sookie: For Luke's place.
Lorelai: Yes.
Sookie: So you could paint together.
Lorelai: Once again, yes!
Sookie: Mm-hmm. Which I believe was your idea.
Lorelai: OK, so now the fact that I suggested painting Luke's diner also means that I wanted to get him in bed. All of a sudden I'm trying to get any poor, unsuspecting person in bed with me. I'm like... I'm Michael Douglas!
Sookie: Lorelai. This...
Lorelai: Just... thanks for the omelette.
Sookie: No, honey, I'm sorry. I don't want you to be mad. Don't be mad at me.
Lorelai: I'm not mad, I'm not mad. I'm tired.
Sookie: OK. You know, Luke is a really nice man.
Lorelai: Bye, Sookie.
Sookie: Well, you call someone and say "Can you come over and help me look for my loose chick"...it's a little...
Lorelai: A little what?
Sookie: Sounds a little like code for "I'm not wearing any underwear".
Lorelai: Hey, was Rachel pretty?
Sookie: What?
Lorelai: I'm just curious, was she pretty?
Sookie: She was pretty.
Lorelai: Like, what kind of pretty?
Sookie What do you mean "what kind of pretty"?
Lorelai: I mean, like, was she a Catherine Zeta-Jones kind of pretty or a Michelle Pfeiffer-y pretty or...
Sookie: She was an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty.
Lorelai: Really.
Sookie Yup.
Lorelai: That's an intense kind of pretty.
Sookie: You're not kidding.
Lorelai: I never pictured Luke with an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty.
Sookie: No? Pictured him more with a Lorelai Gilmore kind of pretty?
Lorelai: Oh, the air up here must be very thin because you're delirious.
Sookie: And you're jealous.
Lorelai: What?
Sookie: You're jealous of Rachel.
Lorelai: You're accusing me of being jealous of a woman who dumped a man I'm not even interested in five years ago?
Sookie: Yes.
Lorelai: And you don't think that's crazy?
Sookie: Oh I do think that's crazy.
Lorelai: Right, I'm not jealous.
Sookie: Yeah you are.
Lorelai: (Looking for Madeline and Louise) Hi, I was wondering if college boys live here or friends of college boys and if they had...
Woman: I don't talk to people. People annoy me! (Slams door)
Lorelai: Okay. (Keeps knocking on doors)
Paris: She's going to knock on every door in the building, isn't she?
Rory: Yup.
(Sookie knocks on a door, and a dog barks loudly)
Sookie: Aah! Let's follow your mother!
Paris: I wonder if I was missing if my mom would come looking for me like that.
Rory: Paris, you know she would.
Paris: Yeah. Or at least she'd send somebody.
Miss Patty: (noticing Lorelai's sweatshirt) Well this looks really familiar.
Lorelai: Oh, that's mine. Er, I saw it first and then I bought it so it's mine now.
Miss Patty: Really? Who brought it in?
Lorelai: I think Luke did and judging by his very hostile reaction he obviously wasn't done wearing it yet.
Miss Patty: Oh my, I wonder if...
Miss Patty: What?
Miss Patty: (to Sookie) I bet this was Rachel's.
Sookie: Oh my God, Rachel's?
Lorelai: Rachel? Who's Rachel?
Sookie: Rachel was Luke's very serious girlfriend. It does look like her.
Lorelai: When did Luke have a girlfriend?
Miss Patty: Oh this must have been what, five, six years ago? Did she break that man's heart. It was terrible.
Lorelai: How did I not know about this?
Sookie: Honey, you had an 11 year old kid and you were just moving into this house. Plus Rachel traveled all the time. She was a photographer.
Miss Patty: Archeologist.
Sookie: Really?
Miss Patty: Or a flight attendant.
Lorelai: I can't believe I never even heard about it.
Miss Patty: At least I think so.
Sookie: Well Luke never talks about it. No one else likes to talk about it because he could probably kill you with that coffee pot if he wanted to.
Lorelai: Wow. I never pictured Luke having a girlfriend, or a broken heart.
(After making Lorelai go on a double date with Sookie, Jackson and his cousin Rune)
Sookie: You will not regret this.
Lorelai: Pick another phrase.
Sookie: You will not have to pay.
Lorelai: Much better.
(Sookie is getting ready to go on her first date with Jackson)
Sookie: I'm scared.
Lorelai: I know.
Sookie: I like him.
Lorelai: He likes you.
Sookie: How do you know he's not being polite?
Lorelai: Sookie!
Sookie: No, I mean it. It's like I cornered him and he felt trapped and he had to say yes.
Lorelai: He did not have to say yes.
Sookie: Oh my God. Technically, I am his employer.
Lorelai: Sookie!
Sookie: I am. I buy his wares. His livelihood depends on me.
Lorelai: Sookie!
Sookie: Oh! I'm a sexual harasser!
Lorelai: Well, then you need some false eyelashes.
Sookie: This isn't funny. I am now desperate, lonely and a criminal.
Sookie: You must really like this guy.
Lorelai: When did you become a relationship expert? You haven't been in a relationship in years. (Big pause, as she realizes what she just said) Wow... zero to jackass in 3.2 seconds.
Sookie: A zucchini tush?
Jackson: Just a temporary name.
Sookie: You want me to serve my customers a genetically engineered vegetable that's named after a butt?
