Sookie St. James Quotes
Lorelai: Emily Gilmore, you can set your watch by her. Although you know what she did do last night?
Sookie: Wore jeans?
Lorelai: Served pudding.
Sookie: I was close.
Lorelai: I mean, I'm sure it was some expensive form of pudding, but nonetheless it was pudding!
Sookie: That is amazing!
Lorelai: Right?! That would mean that she actually made a mental note that we like pudding, which would mean she listens to something other than the judgmental conga line going on in her head, and got over the fact that to her, pudding is hospital food and is only acceptable when you've just had a vital organ ripped out of your body.
Sookie: Wow, that's some journey she had to take, there.
Jackson: (comes running into the kitchen and says to Lorelai) Open your mouth and close your eyes.
Lorelai: Who are you talking to?
Jackson: Right. Sorry (runs to Sookie). Open your mouth and close your eyes.
Sookie: Okay. (opens her mouth and closes her eyes).
Jackson: Now get ready for something truly amazing.
Sookie: Mmmmmmmm! Yeah!
Jackson: Huh?
Lorelai: What is it?!
Sookie: I don't know. It's like a--
Jackson: A what?
Sookie: It's like a berry, but way more exotic.
Jackson: Yes! Good!
Lorelai: Jackson, have you been having reactions to your fertilizer fumes again?
Sookie: Hangover?
Lorelai: Emily.
Sookie: Oh. Got it, moving on.
(About the bake sale)
Max: Very Henry VIII.
Lorelai: Well we're not into subtle.
Max: Good to see you, Lorelai.
Lorelai: Oh, good to see you, Mr. Medina.
Max: Max.
Lorelai: Mr. Medina.
Max: Max.
Lorelai: Mr. Medina, meet Sookie, the chef at the Inn. Sookie, Mr. Medina.
Sookie: What's the name again?
Lorelai: Mr. Medina.
Sookie: I know, you've said it like a zillion times.
Lorelai: Life is a funny funny thing, huh?
Sookie: Yeah I love that Jim Carrey.
Lorelai: What?
Sookie: Jim Carrey. He's just -- he's just -- funny.
Lorelai: He is funny but I didn't mean funny, funny. I'm being philosophical.
Sookie: Oh. Very serious face. Jean-Paul Sartre.
Lorelai: Plus, it would be great to get, you know.
Sookie: What?
Lorelai: You know.
Sookie: No, I don't.
Lorelai: You know. (indicating the man sitting next to her) He knows.
Sookie: (to the man sitting next to Lorelai) You know?
Man: Yeah, I know.
Luke: Sookie!
Sookie: Hey, I was looking for your paprika.
Luke: Hey, what have I said about the counter?
Sookie: I know.
Luke: How the counter is a sacred space, my sacred space. You don't do yoga on the Dalai Lama's mat. And you don't come behind my counter. Period!
Sookie: I was trying to help!
Luke: (to Lorelai) You bring her again, I want her on a leash! I mean it.
Sookie: Is that meatloaf?
Luke: Yeah.
Sookie: You use ketchup?
Luke: You gonna make fun of my mother, too?
Lorelai: Yeah. This school is so different from Stars Hollow you know. They send home like a thousand pages of updates every week. It's a very intense place.
Sookie: Uh huh.
Lorelai: Last week there was a huge debate over whether plaid scrunchies were acceptable head wear. People took sides, things got ugly, the scrunchie motion finally passed and I'd like to think I was the tie breaker.
Lorelai: Sookie, I need coffee to go.
Sookie: There's fresh over there.
Lorelai: Ooh, good. (walks over to the coffee pot to find it empty) Fresh in my first lifetime as Joan of Arc.
Sookie: It wasn't the Risotto, it was the wine. He ordered the wrong wine!
Lorelai: Oh, wow, great.
Sookie: See, in the review, he mentioned something about a Summer Tomato Salad, which I only made once in the last three weeks because Jackson of course decides to get in a fistfight with his tomato grower Okay, that's a different story.
Lorelai: Yes. Save it for Christmastime.
Sookie: So, Brian, the goateed waiter, only worked one shift last week because his girlfriend kicked him out and he had to move.
Lorelai: Celia kicked him out?
Sookie: Well, he didn't want kids.
Lorelai: But she knew that when they moved in.
Sookie: Women always think they can change men.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Sookie: So, anyhow, I checked the dates, I narrowed the date down, and I found a party that had ordered practically everything in the menu including
Lorelai: The magic Risotto.
Sookie: Yes, the Risotto and a Riesling. Ha! A Riesling!
Lorelai: Why not just drink battery acid?
Sookie: Exactly. Changes the entire flavor of the dish. And the fact that Brian even served it, makes me think Celia is a little bit better off without him.
Lorelai: Tell me something happy.
Sookie: I can't make the strawberry shortcake.
Lorelai: Wow, you suck at this game.
Sookie: Which one is which?
Lorelai: I don't know. I think the one on the right is Matt.
Michel: No, the one on the left is Matt. The one on the right is Mark.
Lorelai: That's very impressive.
Michel: Yes, well, I'm very good at observing people, you know, learning the tics and traits, sound of their voices. It's a gift.
Sookie: That one has a Post-It on its back.
Michel: Oh, well, then that's Mark. The one on the right is Matt.
Lorelai: You will go and take that off of him.
Michel: I will not. We can't all just call everyone 'sweetie' and get away with it.
Sookie: Now, go with me, here. Let's say Mark walks into a hotel room and he sees his wife naked, but it's not his wife, it's his naked sister-in-law, and he has sex with her. Would that be cheating?
Michel: My head hurts.
Lorelai: (laughing) I think no.
Sookie: Really? Lucky.
Michel: If you ask me this union belongs on a public access station. It's against the laws of nature and just this short of completely obscene.
Lorelai: Oh, you won't be giving the wedding toast.
