Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Sterling Archer Quotes
She's not gay, she just has big hands.
Archer: Your stance. You're fighting yourself.
Rona: Excuse me?
Archer: You're all rigid and stiff. Which I'm all for. Rim shot.
That so hard? Count Snackula.
Archer: Can you put it in a person's brain?
Krieger: It'd suffocate.
Archer: Not the rabbit, you idiot - the chip.
Krieger: Oh yes, absolutely.
Archer: Without killing the person?
Krieger: Oh... maybe?
Woodhouse: 1,200 pounds
Archer: No one is getting killed over however much that is in real money.
Lana: Oh My... You're getting off on this!
Archer: And?
Lana: What's your third biggest fear?
Archer: Brain aneurysm.
Lana: What's a brain aneurysm have to do with walking around in a swamp?
Archer: Nothing, it can happen anywhere at anytime, that's what makes it so terrifying.
Archer: You're just doing this to spite me!
Lana: And?
Archer: You're black...ish.
Lana: Ish!?
Archer: Well what's the word for it, Lana? You freaked out when I said quadroon!
Lana: (sarcastic) Imagine that!!
Archer: You imagine it!
Malory: BOTH OF YOU IMAGINE SHUTTING UP!!!
Archer: Stop. Shut up. I have to go, and If I find one single dog hair when I get back, I'll... rub sand in your dead little eyes.
Woodhouse: Very good, Sir.
Archer: I also need you to go buy sand.
Woodhouse: Yes, Sir.
Archer: I don't know if they grade it, but... coarse.
Because I told you to buy lemon curd, Woodhouse. Now what am I going to spread on my toast? Your tears?
Malory: Why are you drinking?
Archer: It's a party.
Malory: It's a baby shower! For the bastard child you pumped into a filthy whore!
Archer: I'm obviously not saying now, but one of these days you're make the best grandmother ever.
