Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXSterling Archer Quotes
Archer: I don't need a doctor, Katya doesn't have VD!
Malory: You haven't had sex with her?
How is this happy play time? Use your imagines, make a soccer ball out of a dead cat.
Those cannot be your only shoes. What am I saying? It's Russia. People probably come from miles around just to get their picture taken in those.
Archer: I thought they just wanted my hair so their scientists could unlock the secret of its luxurious fullness. Touch it, Barry.
Barry: No.
Archer: Come on.
Barry: It's not that thick back here.
He'll have an unexpected dinner guest, who, may be his son. And for dessert, we will have the truth. You hear that mother? After lifetimes of your secrets and lies, we will finally have the truth! Oh and hopefully shit loads of vodka.
Archer: Barry, wait, slow down!
Barry: Why?
Archer: So I can go past you!
So I can't stay for dinner. I assume that smell is cabbage and not just you two.
Barry: Your boots are slipping.
Archer: Probably because there's 200 pounds of asshole hanging from them
Barry: 183!
Archer: Whatever, fat boy. Tell that to my silk socks.
Barry: Why are you wearing silk socks?
Archer: Is that a joke?
Can you not rub your dick in my mother's pantyhose, please?
I've broken into way tougher places, right? Well, not without my turtleneck...
Archer: I have a plan that doesn't involve you stealing my toiletries.
Gillette: You're not using them.
Archer: Yes, I am
Gillette: Go look at your pores and then tell me you're using them
Why was I dressed like Hitler?
