Why does the man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me!

Meg: There's no factory?
Stewie: Ha! Very good, fat man! We follow the Pied Piper of Hamsteak to the Gates of Oblivion, and look what it's brought us! We're finished! We're done! Game over, man! Game over!

Oh dear me, yes yes, this is how I wanted to enter the new millennium...locked in the basement with imbeciles dressed like a gay Neil Armstrong

You're urinating! So, it's been you all along. Oh, this is too perfect! I've been taking the blame for Rex!

Stewie: What the hell is this?
Lois: Sweetie, that's tuna salad.
Stewie: Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food

God! Do you people speak every language except english? Yo quiero pancakes! Done ma pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes!

What's that? Oh yeah. I love crack, I'm absolutly coo-coo for crack

Peter: Look. Here they are. My family. Guys, I don't say this often enough, but I'm gonna die!
Lois: Oh my god.
Stewie: High five! Anyone? Anyone?

Hello, I'm Stewie. Big fan

You know, mother, as first lady of the American stage Helen Hayes once said, "I'm going to kill you"

I say, if you cooked any slower... well, you wouldn't be cooking very fast at all, would you?...Well, that wasn't very good

You know mother, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. Your life, however, is more like a box of active grenades!

Family Guy Quotes

Aunt Margarite [on her video will]: Lois, you were always my favorite niece; I just knew you would find a wonderful man who would make all your dreams come true. But I was wrong.
Peter: And now you're dead. Score one for Peter

But now that you mention it, your face looks like a used condom.

Quagmire