Family Guy

Stewie Griffin Quotes

Lois: Oh my God! We've been burglarized!
Stewie: Well, we'll just have to get that $17 insurance check and start over.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Look, I realize Quahog isn't the small town it used to be, but it's still very special to me. It's my home.
Stewie: Yeah, come on guys, she's got dyed roots in this community.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: An increase in crime? That can't be right. I haven't noticed anything like that.
Stewie: You're in the house 14 hours a day, what would you notice?
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: [walks in with a leather jacket] Hey guys, what's going on? And no one says anything so they hate it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: I can't believe Horace's dead.
Stewie: I can't believe we left Brian in the car with the windows up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: Are you watching porn in the kitchen? Come on man, we eat in here!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: Brian, I can't find Rupert anywhere! Have you seen him?
Brian: Oh, I thought Lois would've told you. She sent him back to the factory.
Stewie: what, why?
Brian: She was afraid he was going to choke you.
Stewie: That was a game we played! Believe me, I was in control the whole time!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Who threw out my sequined top?
Stewie: You're 43, accept it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Brian: What the hell? Are you listening to Anne Murray?
Stewie: Uh, I am experiencing Anne Murray.
Brian: Why? That music is complete crap.
Stewie: Um, excuse me?
Brian: It's all this vapid, overproduced tripe, it has no edge whatsoever.
 • Rating: Unrated

Brian: Hey, you think you might be able to get me some acid?
Stewie: I'll get you a rolled-up newspaper on the snout is what I'll get you! Very! Bad! Dog!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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