Blaine: I'm not rejoining the Cheerios.
Sue: Oh you most certainly are. Or something unfortunate will most likely be happening to you extremely soon.

Today is the day we honor St. Valentine, a man publicly beheaded for defying his government, by exchanging candies and chocolates to nonsensically render the objects of our affection more fat and less attractive.

Emma: Um, Sue, I feel really scared. I feel really overwhelmed. I feel like I can't think straight. I'm just really, really worried that this isn't going to work.
Sue: Well, of course it isn't going to work. You're a weird bird lady with a hollow pelvis and OCD. And Will Schuester is a weepy man-child whose greatest joy in life is singing with children. And his best friend? 19.

Santana: Look, please don't tell my mom.
Sue: Oh, I can't. I don't speak Spanish.

[to Santana] What is with you glee club ex-pats? Don't you have jobs. You have to have some source of income so you can pay the staff of scientists who service your teleporters that you all clearly on since you're constantly showing up here.

Finn: I seem to recall a rumor about a certain cheerleading coach at this school who once took horse estrogen and posed for Penthouse back in the day. So maybe I can just track that down and make a few copies and sell those to raise money for Regionals.
Sue: That's nothing but a rumor. But if that rumor were true, my Penthouse centerfold so groundbreaking that it completely redefined the term 'hirsute,' and gave birth unto these United States a pose so limber they named it the Regal American Not-So-Bald Spread Eagle, I promise you, my friend, you would never find it.

Millie: I wanted to say thank you for what you did for Marley and me.
Sue: I have no idea what you're talking about. I had nothing to do with the making of that film.

I've seen your true colors, Finn Hudson. You've got hate in that heart, Double Stuff. And probably also frosting.

Will: In Shakespeare's time, all the female roles were played by men.
Sue: There's no way that's true.

[to Marley] I'm trying to think of a mean nickname for you and I'm blanking.

Sue: Brittany, you're off the Cheerios.
Brittany: Tough love feels a lot like mean.

Well that was just garbage. Garbage wrapped in skin.

Glee Quotes

You know, the New York Times said, um, half the increase in support of gay marriage is due to generational turnover. That's what smart people call 'crazy, uptight bitches dying.' You guys lost, okay? And honestly the rest of us are just going about our business being normal and waiting for you not to be around, and not because you can stop us from getting married, but because you're kind of annoying.

Brittany

I just want somebody to love me.

Quinn