Puckerman I appreciate your commitment to winning, but without a doubt you are the ugliest woman I have ever seen. For a second there I thought you were Beiste's sister.

Tina: My name is Tina. Tina Cohen Chang.
Sue: Isn't she the one who used to stutter?

You only have yourselves to blame. And the liberal media.

[to Joe] "What are you looking at Jar-Jar Binks?"

"I don't know if it's the sentimental fetus in me, but I think it's my best batch ever. Nothing but fruit juicy red, Manhattan seltzer, and seven tablespoons of Visine, just so we get out of here on time."

"Advertisers are manipulative alcoholics who use images to play on our emotions. Haven't you seen Mad Men?"

Santana: What happened to Beiste? Did we do something wrong?
Sue: Well, you completely butchered one of my all-time favorite Kandor and Ebb tunes, while completely missing the point of absolutely everything.

Now I realize this room is America's #1 destination for cheap, sappy moralizing, but your insensitive behavior is about to subject you to a whole new level of preachiness.

I spent the weekend sending your photo to ivory poachers who could make an absolute fortune selling your enormous white teeth on the black market.

Brittany thought of it. She gets an idea once every couple years and, lucky for us, this was a good one.

Sue: Her chagrin is limited only by the fact that she has a brain the size of a toddler's fist.
Brittany: I can show you the MRI.

Let's be honest, William. You've been out of ideas since Madonna week.

Glee Quotes

Rachel: This is what I wanted!
Sam: No, what you wanted was a second chance to get it right and Carmen just gave it to you. If you throw all that away you're going to be making the same mistake all over again

Finn: I seem to recall a rumor about a certain cheerleading coach at this school who once took horse estrogen and posed for Penthouse back in the day. So maybe I can just track that down and make a few copies and sell those to raise money for Regionals.
Sue: That's nothing but a rumor. But if that rumor were true, my Penthouse centerfold so groundbreaking that it completely redefined the term 'hirsute,' and gave birth unto these United States a pose so limber they named it the Regal American Not-So-Bald Spread Eagle, I promise you, my friend, you would never find it.