The English language lacks the requisite words to express just how much I dislike you.

You can maybe go one day without the driving clothes. It's a wheel chair Artie, not a Porsche.

For God's sake, Amelia, it's 2012. If you wanna marry Will Schuester, ask him.

I made plans to shoot reindeer from my helicopter with Sarah Palin, but she canceled. Apparently Todd gets fussy when she misses his ballet recitals.

Christmas is a time for forgiveness. I have decided to forgive you for having no talent and ruining the American songbook, one mash-up at a time.

Why don't you hurry on to your next face-widening session at the John Travolta Institute for Head Thickening and Facial Weight Gain?

Truth is, journal, I'm attracted to men. Sure, I can't stand watching them eat or talk, but when it comes to getting sexy, this gal's got a hole in her heart that only a fella can fill.

My iPhone 5 is vibrating. That's a new feature of the iPhone 5, they vibrate now.

I lost an enormous last minute bet I placed on myself with a shady Las Vegas bookie.

It's a reporter from USA Today. The newspaper for people who can't read.

If I wanna win this race, I need 20 cc's of man. Stat!

Why would someone assume I'm a Friend of Ellen just because I'm manish and I have short hair and I only wear track suits and I coach a girls' sport and I married myself?

Glee Quotes

You know, the New York Times said, um, half the increase in support of gay marriage is due to generational turnover. That's what smart people call 'crazy, uptight bitches dying.' You guys lost, okay? And honestly the rest of us are just going about our business being normal and waiting for you not to be around, and not because you can stop us from getting married, but because you're kind of annoying.

Brittany

I just want somebody to love me.

Quinn