The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Superintendent Chalmers Quotes
SKINNER! So, you heard about the eleven dollars an hour?!
Skinner, you're a regular Casanova, or, in English, regular house.
Skinner! I have seven other principals, and I've never yelled their names. Not even once.
Principal Skinner: May I interest you in a jello brick, sir? There's a grape in the center.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, I'm not made of stone.
By now you've haard that one of our fourth graders did something that 100 years ago would have been completely innocent but in today's over litigious society has been blown completely out of proportion.
(Principal Skinner treats Superintendent Chalmers to dinner at his home.)
Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour, those string beans were cooked to perfection. After 20 years, I am finally starting to like you.
Principal Skinner: Just wait for dessert, sir. I made it with you in mind.
Superintendent Chalmers: Outstanding. I'll just shut my eyes and let you place it before me.
(Selma's erotic cake accidentally flies in through the window and lands on the table in front of Chalmers and Skinner and the two recoil in horror when they see it.)
Agnes: (from upstairs) Seymour! What's going on? I'm coming down there!
Superintendent Chalmers: Quick! We'll have to eat from each end. We'll know we're safe when our lips meet in the middle.
Superintendent Chalmers: I'm a bit of a crossword head myself. They help me relax after a day of having to deal with... Skinner!
Principal Skinner: You called?
Superintendent Chalmers: Made reference.
Principal Skinner: My mistake.
Superintendent Chalmers: We're gonna put Bart Simpson away for a long, long time.
Principal Skinner: By law, the most we can give him is a 10-day suspension.
Superintendent Chalmers: That's long to a kid.
(about the Springfield Creative Arts School)The whole school is made up of modeling clay! Every afternoon, they re-shape it just to get my goat!
Skinner: Simpson, I know you're behind this! Well, you are going to get some counseling from the school psychologist!
School Psychologist: DARK STANLEY'S GONNA EAT MY BRAINS!
Superintendent Chalmers: Or from a qualified professional.
Chalmers: I recall you took a sick day of which you had none.
Skinner: I was gonna lose my foot...
Chalmers: Of which you have two.
I oversee fourteen schools and I always find myself at yours discussing a Simpson kid.
