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The-simpsons

Superintendent Chalmers: Leopold?
(Leopold approaches the podium. The students gasp at his threatening presence)
Leopold: All right you little punks, pick up your freakin' ears, because I'm only gonna say this once. From now on, things are gonna be very, very different around here... (Students gasp, he quickly changes to a cheerful demeanor) ...with your new principal, Ned Flanders!

Principal Skinner: Dirksen, tuck in your shirt. Jaffee, spit out that gum!
Leopold: You really think it's a good idea to give that freak his job back?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aw, he seems to know the students' names.

Chalmers: We have reason to believe your son has been dealing drugs.
Marge: Dealing drugs? That's impossible, he doesn't have the math skills.
Chalmers: Marge, I know you've tried everything to keep Bart under control. Ritalin, Lithium, Zoloft. Well they didn't work, he has moved on to drugs.

By now you've haard that one of our fourth graders did something that 100 years ago would have been completely innocent but in today's over litigious society has been blown completely out of proportion.

Principal Skinner: May I interest you in a jello brick, sir? There's a grape in the center.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, I'm not made of stone.

Ralph: What's a battle?
Principal Skinner: Hahahaha, lets go.
Superintendent Chalmers: Did that boy say what's a battle?
Principal Skinner: No he said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct.
Superintendent Chalmers: Hmm, it sounded like battle.
Principal Skinner: I've had a cold, so--
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh so you hear r's as b's?

Skinner: It will be featured in the fifth grade play of the Crucible.
Superintendent Chalmers: Good seats still available and by that I mean seats in the back where you can fall asleep.

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