Popular Ted Mosby Quotes
Ted: That's weird, I have a message.
Marshall: That's weird, you still have an answering machine.
Ted: Oh boy that was a crazy story.
Barney: Oh boy, yeah I remember.
Ted: You weren't there.
Barney: Ted, bubala, if you have a crazy story, I was there. It's just the law of the universe.
Barney: Ted what is my one rule?
Ted: You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Flax seed relieves upset stomach?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there.
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: New is always better?
Barney: New is always better!
Indiana Jones wouldn't look at this body. This is a body that would melt a Nazi's face.
I would open a vein in my arm if I could bleed that locket out, just to make her happy.
When you believe in people, people come through.
Ted: Billy Zabka's your new best man?
Barney: He's the best, around. Sorry Ted, maybe next wedding.
Ted: So, you are mad about me and Robin holding hands.
Barney: Of course I'm mad Ted. Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging. Well in your case, twelfth grade. Self five!
He's gotten really respectful with his fake listening.
It would be nice, just once, not to have to go stag to Coin-Con.
It's been a major pleasure, Major Pleasure.
Barney: The international dateline, that's right new theory. What's that you ask?
Ted: Nobody did
Barney: I'll now address your query.
