Popular Teresa Lisbon Quotes
Kimball: They think you killed their mother.
Jeremy: Well, they don't know anything about me. I loved her.
Teresa: Of course you did. That's why you gave Rosemary's necklace to your hot new girlfriend.
Jeremy: Well, it's no good to Rosemary, is it? So shoot me, I'm a pragmatist.
Teresa: That's a good word.
Philip Handler: I guess, uh, you must be bad cop.
Teresa Lisbon: I try.
Virgil Minelli: You couldn't just give Kurtik a stern talking to instead?
Teresa Lisbon: What about Christine Tanner, sir? If Kurtik was having sex with her, that gives him motive to kill.
Virgil Minelli: If! And that's a hunch. Based on rockabilly.
Teresa Lisbon: It's a Jane hunch, you keep him around for a reason.
Patrick: You don't like the way I drive, you despise it.
Teresa: You drive way too fast.
Patrick: I drive just fast enough. You hate not being the one in control and yet you're willing to overcome your irrational fears to cheer me up. That's a beautiful thing, Lisbon. Thank you, I'd love to drive.
Teresa: Never mind.
Teresa: Aw. Jane kissed a girl.
Patrick: What? Yeah on the cheek.
Teresa: Still counts.
Teresa: We have agents at your house right now with a search warrant.
Chancellor Stern: Inadmissible.
Teresa: Yes. I'd hate to be a State's Attorney. Jane's always pulling crap like this on them but they always win.
Patrick: Let's keep it casual to start with Sophie. Let her relax. If she gets her guard up, we'll get nothing from her.
Teresa: You're very combative all of a sudden.
Patrick: Yeah, if she is guilty, she lied to me and I believed it. She fooled me.
Teresa: The ultimate sin.
Patrick: Yes it is.
(To Grace on the phone) Things are getting weird, we're off to see a witch.
Kimball: Look, a goat. Goats are signs of Satan.
Teresa: So petting zoos are, like, gateways to hell?
Kimball: Pretty much.
Jane: Oh, please don't look at each other like that.
Lisbon: Like what? You can't see.
Jane: I can feel. I can feel your pity.
Cho: How is he?
Lisbon: Guess what, he's a bad patient.
Cho: Who would've thought.
Jane: I'm not a bad patient. She's a bad visitor.
Patrick Jane: (making a call on his cell phone) Hi. I made a booking for two for this afternoon. Could you put us on the terrace? It's more romantic. Thanks... Yeah, Patrick... Lovely. See you then. (ends phone call then looks at Teresa) Don't fret, I wouldn't seduce you over a meal. That'd be very sophomoric.
Teresa Lisbon: I didn't think you were trying to seduce me.
Patrick Jane: Come on, how could that thought not have entered your head?
Teresa Lisbon: (stares speechlessly at Patrick)
Patrick Jane: Your denial that it did intrigues me.
Teresa: Bite me.
