McGee: Gibbs would never leave you out of the loop on something like this.
Tony: He didn't.
Bishop: You knew? So why bother fighting with her?
Tony: She fights back. I have a type.

Abby: So I can date him?
McGee: Absolutely not. You don't know a thing about this guy. Aside from this totally comprehensive background check.

Bishop: When my grandma died, it helped me just to talk about her. Maybe you guys could tell me what Jackson was like.
Abby: He gave the best hugs.
McGee: He was the only one that could the Gibbs stare at Gibbs.
Tony: With those icy blue eyes. He gave me the sweater off his back once. White. Two functional pockets. Very soft.

McGee: Abby, this email came through two minutes ago.
Tony: Two minutes is two years in Abby time. You know that.

McGee: What do you get if you kick a dog? Trip to Hawaii?
Tony: Death by Abby.

Bishop: All we know for sure is that he went to college with Amanda Kendall. His murder could be a coincidence.
Gibbs: McGee.
McGee: Rule 39, Bishop.
Bishop: Right. No such thing as a coincidence. I knew that one.

McGee: Aaah! God! What is that?
Christopher: Certified purified organic cat urine and body odor.

McGee: I'm not spending the night out here, Tony. I'm cold and I'm starving.
Tony: I'd say stop by the car, there's a slice of pizza left but we can't blow your cover, man.
McGee: I've been out here for hours and I've gotten nowhere. No one's seen him for days. They think he moved on.
Tony: Don't give up. Boy it's pretty toasty in this car.

Abby: Wish I could have done more to help him.
McGee: Abby you can't solve everyone's problems. Some people have demons they have to overcome.

Tony: How long?
McGee: Just this once? Okay it's been the whole time. We've been working late. I was weak.
Tony: I don't even know who you are anymore.
McGee: Wait, please, I have another one. Here. Take it. It's yours.
Tony: You can't buy me with your pepperoni. I want steak. Creamed spinach. French fries.
Bishop: Can I get in on this?
McGee: Yes. Absolutely. Steaks all around, my treat. Let's go.

McGee: Look you've only been back to work a week. Maybe you should slow down.
Delilah: Slow down?
Gibbs: Delilah, what he's saying is let us check it first. Right Tim?

Palmer: Don't worry. He's as high as a kite.
Troutman (groggy): Wait. I know you.
McGee: Jimmy.
Palmer: Or not.
Troutman: Are there violent chinchilla babies here too?
McGee: They were here.
Troutman: No!
McGee: But we got rid of them.
Troutman: God bless you.

NCIS Quotes

Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.

Torres: When I break out the glass, maybe I can rip out the bars.
Bishop: With what? Your superhuman strength?