Tom Haverford Quotes (Page 16)
Season 2, Episode 1: "Pawnee Zoo"
Tom: I've seen so many dudes from City Hall here tonight, it's crazy! [pause] But, I guess they've seen me here too. Which is not so great.
• Rating: Unrated
Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.
• Rating: Unrated
Leslie: They thought that was a political gesture? No one eat that. Tom, step into my office.
Tom: It's also my office.
Leslie: Whatever.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 6: "Rock Show"
Wendy: How did Leslie meet her boyfriend?
Tom: She used to read him books at the senior center.
Beth: Wow. How old is he?
Tom: He's 6, but he has Benjamin Button disease.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 5: "The Banquet"
Tom: Yes, I'm married. But my wife understands that a good politician has to be appealing to the ladies. The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her is a disappointment to both of us.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 4: "Boys Club"
Jim: I love Great lakes wine.
Tom: You can have the wine. I'm wanna take that cheese and do terrible things to it.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 3: "The Reporter"
Leslie: Tom Haverford. Boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate.
Tom: That's kind of a weird way to describe me.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 2: "Canvassing"
Tom Haverford: You know, normally I don't agree with Leslie about anything, but this book is awesome.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 1: "Pilot"
Leslie Knope: When I go through these doors, I need to be "on", like the White House Press Secretary. Are you ready?
Tom Haverford: Yes.
Leslie Knope: OK! Here we go! (pulls on the door, looks into the camera) It's locked.
• Rating: Unrated
Tom Haverford: Every now and then, we have these little gatherings, and Leslie gets plastered. One time, I convinced her to try to fax someone a Fruit Roll Up. She, one time, made out with the water delivery guy. In her office. On Halloween, she was dressed up as Batman. Not Batgirl; Batman. And I convinced her to go stop a crime that was going on outside. And it is my favorite thing in the world.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 160
