Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Leslie: All that matters is that Ann and Mark got home okay. That Ann went back to her home and Mark went back to his home. That they're both at their homes, and-
Tom: Leslie. Mark's an idiot. You can do better than him.
Leslie: Aww. Thanks Tom.
Tom: I don't mean me. Keep it in your pants, Knope.

Tom: What is this?
Leslie: It is a mix CD. It's full of songs about people watching people ... it's mostly Sting.

Tom: [on his name] I changed it to Tom Haverford. Because brown guys with funny sounding Muslim names don't make it far in politics.
Leslie: What about Barack Obama?
Tom: Okay. Yeah. Fine. Barack Obama.

I've seen so many dudes from City Hall here tonight, it's crazy! [pause] But, I guess they've seen me here too. Which is not so great.

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Leslie: They thought that was a political gesture? No one eat that. Tom, step into my office.
Tom: It's also my office.
Leslie: Whatever.

Leslie Knope: When I go through these doors, I need to be "on", like the White House Press Secretary. Are you ready?
Tom Haverford: Yes.
Leslie Knope: OK! Here we go! (pulls on the door, looks into the camera) It's locked.

Jim: I love Great lakes wine.
Tom: You can have the wine. I'm wanna take that cheese and do terrible things to it.

Yes, I'm married. But my wife understands that a good politician has to be appealing to the ladies. The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her is a disappointment to both of us.

Wendy: How did Leslie meet her boyfriend?
Tom: She used to read him books at the senior center.
Beth: Wow. How old is he?
Tom: He's 6, but he has Benjamin Button disease.

Leslie: Tom Haverford. Boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate.
Tom: That's kind of a weird way to describe me.

You know, normally I don't agree with Leslie about anything, but this book is awesome.

Displaying quotes 205 - 216 of 217 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

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