Tom Haverford Quotes (Page 14)
Season 2, Episode 17: "Woman of the Year"
Tom: I want to open up my own club one day, maybe call it something like Club a Dub Dub, or the Club Marine. Sort of a submarine-themed club. Or Tom's Bistro. The word bistro is classy as %#@$.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 16: "Galentine's Day"
Wendy: You're suing me for alimony?
Tom: Yes. When we were married I got accustomed to a certain lifestyle and I'm entitled to money to maintain that lifestyle.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Tom [to Wendy]: But think about how much better our friendship would be, if we added, doing it.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 2, Episode 15: "Sweetums"
Tom: That's the Canadian version. Twenty-two extra minutes. And there's a bonus audio track where LL Cool J raps all his dialogue.
• Rating: Unrated
Tom: Brendanawicz. Quick question: Do you personally know Xzibit because I was checking out that pick up truck of your's and that ride is pimp.
• Rating: Unrated
Tom: Who am I suppose to ask for fashion advice? Jerry? He wears the same suit-stained khakis every day.
• Rating: Unrated
Tom: Why don't you get some Canadian bacon on it, since you're from Canada, and sausage, because I'm brown and spicy.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 2, Episode 14: "Leslie's House"
Tom: Justin is hip. Pawnee is the opposite of hip. People in this town are just now getting into Nirvana. I don't have the heart to tell them what's gonna happen to Kurt Cobain in 1994.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Tom: How could you invite Wendy when Ron's here? He's gonna wrap her up in his mustache and take her home!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 13: "The Set Up"
Tom: I meet a girl at a bar. She seems kind of into me, could go either way. I get her number. It's two days later. What do I text her?
Zach: It was nice meeting you.
Tom: No, Zach. I don't text her it was nice meeting you. I wait eight weeks and I text her, "what's crackin'?"
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 197