Tom Haverford Quotes
Wendy: You're suing me for alimony?
Tom: Yes. When we were married I got accustomed to a certain lifestyle and I'm entitled to money to maintain that lifestyle.
But think about how much better our friendship would be, if we added, doing it.
That's the Canadian version. Twenty-two extra minutes. And there's a bonus audio track where LL Cool J raps all his dialogue.
Tom: Brendanawicz. Quick question: Do you personally know Xzibit because I was checking out that pick up truck of your's and that ride is pimp.
Who am I suppose to ask for fashion advice? Jerry? He wears the same suit-stained khakis every day.
Why don't you get some Canadian bacon on it, since you're from Canada, and sausage, because I'm brown and spicy.
Justin is hip. Pawnee is the opposite of hip. People in this town are just now getting into Nirvana. I don't have the heart to tell them what's gonna happen to Kurt Cobain in 1994.
How could you invite Wendy when Ron's here? He's gonna wrap her up in his mustache and take her home!
Tom: I meet a girl at a bar. She seems kind of into me, could go either way. I get her number. It's two days later. What do I text her?
Zach: It was nice meeting you.
Tom: No, Zach. I don't text her it was nice meeting you. I wait eight weeks and I text her, "what's crackin'?"
You are wearing the hell out of that suit, sir. Banana two-button. We should talk later.
I got a night club opening to go to, which tie should I wear?
Have you seen Ann? You know how hot she is? Men give women of that caliber speed boats, private jets. Not computer bags.
