Tom Haverford Quotes
Nadia: Wow, you are wearing a lot of moisturizer on your neck.
Tom: Best way to prevent crow's feet.
Nadia: Is this...glitter?
Tom: What brand is it?
Ann: It's called "Womb, There It Is!"
Woah, Dylan, slow down. That sweat suit is not for sweating. If you take that crushed velvet on more than a brisk walk,it'll fall apart.
Dating Mona Lisa is awesome. Except I live in constant fear of my life. So I need to do the mature thing and get someone to dump her.
I'm gonna buy some sweat pants and a Nicholas Sparks novel. Might as well lean into it.
Tom: Ron, ask me if I'm sad.
Ron: No.
One time my refrigerator stopped working and I had no idea what to do! I just moved!
Tom: Pop quiz. Name the scent.
Ben: Umm Spasm. No, Butterface!
May I say for the record that is a dope pocket square?
I think Mona Lisa's stealing from me!
These kids are renting old clothes like they're going out of style! Which they never will.
Tom: I actually have my own charity to attend to: Tommy's Tummy Foundation.
