Favorite Tom Scavo Quotes
Tom: What have you done to Mrs. Mulburry?
Lynette: Until there's a body, there's no evidence of a crime.
Parker: Daddy! I can't find Mrs. Mulburry's umbrella! Where is it?
Tom: Well, I don't know, sport. Honey, have you seen the umbrella?
Lynette: No.. can't say that I have...
Tom: OK, listen, don't worry about it. I'm sure Mrs. Mulburry's here somewhere.
Lynette: Or... huh...Maybe she's not. She could have... left. You know... maybe she had some other little boy she needed to help.
Parker: Like who?
Lynette: I don't know. It could be.... huh.. a little boy in... England. Named Spencer.
Tom: Lynette...?
Lynette: I mean... it is possible that someone like little Spencer needed Mrs. Mulburry more, 'cause... he doesn't have a daddy and a mommy, who love him. Yeah, that's it. He's an orphan!... with no hands!
Parker: So, who won the fight?
Tom: We weren't fighting, mommy's just letting daddy know where he stands.
Lynette: And, the rat, you took it outside?
Tom: Oh no, I smashed it with a shovel.
Lynette: You killed it?
Tom: Not with the first hit.
Tom: Lynette, the kids are getting older and they are getting smarter. Soon, they're going to realize that they outnumber us and, then...
Lynette: We're screwed.
Tom: Exactly
Bree: Give me your tie.
Tom: What?
Bree: Give me your tie!
Lynette: Give it to her! Give it to her!
(to Lynette) Hey, honey - good news! I checked on Penny and she didn't scream. I think she's getting used to the mask.
Tom: I'm serious, Lynette. I don't make the money around here anymore. I don't provide for you and the kids. And I wasn't gonna let them snip out the last thing that makes me a man. (referring to a vasectomy)
Lynette: Staying home and taking care of the kids doesn't make you less of a man. That's crazy.
Tom: You expect me to calm your irrational fears. I expect you to calm mine.
Lynette: You're you saying you're unhappy?
Tom: A little bit, yeah.
Lynette: Well, what we gonna do about that?
Tom: I don't know.
Lynette: Well, can't we just---?
Tom: No, Lynette. I don't know.
Lynette: So, you're saying if I died, you would want a second wife, and a family?
Tom: Maybe...
Lynette: I can't believe you've actually thought about this!
Tom: Haven't you?
Lynette: Thought about who'd I'm marry if you died? Hmm.... NO!
Tom: It's a backup plan, I'm not going to use it!
Lynette: It's not the Ebola virus, it's chicken pox! You are being a baby!
Tom: Yes, I am, and if you think I'm being a baby now, do I need to remind you what I'm like when I'm sick? Remember that time I had strep throat? We wound up in marriage counselling.
Lynette: I'll call the office.
Tom: Thanks, honey.
Lynette: Maybe we should think about seeing another therapist.
Tom: When we started, you loved her.
Lynette: Yeah, and when we started, I loved you too. Things change.
Tom: Remember last time you were pregnant with twins? Every part of you swelled up. It was like sleeping next to a body they dragged out of the river.
Lynette: You said I was beautiful.
Tom: I had to. You were twice my size.
