Favorite Tom Scavo Quotes
Lynette: So what're you saying? You're more afraid of Nora than you are of me?
Tom: (stuttering) Is that what you think I meant? Because that's not what I meant! (Lynette keeps glaring at him) You scare the hell outta me baby!
(Tom is on the phone with Lynette)
Tom: I can barely sit up. The kids are running wild. I need you to come up here.
Lynette: Why don't you take a muscle relaxer?
Tom: I've already taken two, they're not working.
Lynette: Well, why don't you give them to the kids?
Tom: Lynette! ... Parker! For the last time, put DOWN the DAMN AXE!
Lynette: Oh... alright, I'll be there as soon as I can.
Tom: Why are you being such a hard ass?
Lynette: It's called parenting, Tom. Watch and learn.
(Lynette practising baseball with Parker.)
Tom: What are you guys doing?
Lynette: I'll tell you what were not doing, quitting.
Tom: Hey buddy, did you change your mind?
Parker: NO!
Tom: I bet you didn't see that one coming?
Lynette: No.. That was a real frisbee to the head, that one!
Tom: Okay, now when I say open, don't look with your eyes. Look with your imagination.
Lynette: Okay.
Tom: Okay. Open.
Lynette: Oh dear god.
Tom: Damn it, you looked with your eyes!
Tom: You said you'd support me.
Lynette: My mistake. I assumed you'd have a dream worth supporting.
Tom: (to his children) And we'll all see Auntie Nora again in heaven.
Lynette: Or wherever.
Lynette: I am snapping because there is a monster across the street and Barney Fife here is making me sound like 'the bad guy'.
(Lynette leaves the police office while Tom stays with the officer.)
Tom: Look I'm sorry. She's been under a lot of stress, hasn't slept well...
Lynette: (from outside the office) You better not be apologizing for me!
Tom: She threw your doll in the trash?
Lynette: No, first she ripped off its arms, stuffed it with chili, then she threw it in the trash!
Tom: I don't want you to be afraid to take a firm hand with Kayla. She is part of our family now and.. you know what that means.
Lynette: Yeah! I should treat her as badly as I treat my own children.
Tom: So wait, we're not having sex?
Lynette: Hey, you banned me from your opening!
