Popular Troy Quotes
A switch is a stick she can use to whoop you with. Cherish, Britta. Cherish.
Shirley: I was going to sign up for a class to make an online dating profile, but sailing in the parking lot sounds less pathetic.
Troy: A black person on a sailboat? I gotta see this. I'm in.
Shirley: I've never been a captain before.
Pierce: I have I commanded a jet ski through an electrical storm and only had one casualty.
Troy: Jet skis only hold two people.
Pierce: Exactly, I saved half the crew.
I hope I get multiple personalities. I get lonely in long showers.
Oh my god, Pierce is going to be the only person ever to drown in a parking lot... twice.
You're more of a fun vampire. You don't suck blood, you just suck.
It's not a meteor; it's a cookie wand. Me and Jeff made it because it made you look more like the Cookie Crisp wizard, which is not even a reference I get because the Cookie Crisp mascot when I was growing up wasn't a wizard. It was a burglar.
I gotta stop hanging out with her. She sounds like a chicken finger.
Jeff: Why do you have a monkey?
Troy: It's an animal that looks like a dude. Why don't I have 10 of them?
If God were edible - not that I'm Catholic - but if it was cool to eat God, he'd be a chicken finger.
Troy: I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
Britta: Why are you taking that?
Troy: I thought it was a class about crazy farm animals.
Shirley: Pierce has always been on my watch list.
Troy: That dude is crazy. He told me girls have two pee holes
