The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Waylon Smithers Quotes
Smithers: Don't you think you've gambled enough?
Marge: No.
Smithers: Very well, ma'am. We're required to asked every 72 hours. Enjoy a free round of drinks.
(Smithers is on fire, while Mr. Burns is washing his car.)
Smithers: Sir, help me!
Mr. Burns: Why should I? You're not helping me.
Smithers: But sir, I'm flaming!
(Mr. Burns looks at the camera with an odd expression)
Ned: Come on Homer, I'm insisting on a fisting.
Smithers: What's this about a fisting?
Smithers: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq!
Mr. Burns: What?
Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.
Mr. Burns: What do you think, Smithers?
Smithers: I think women and seamen don't mix.
Mr. Burns: Hello my name is Mr. Snrub and I come from some place far away. Yes, that will do. Anyway I say we invest that money back in the nuclear plant.
Smithers: I like the way Snrub thinks!
(During the nuclear meltdown, Mr. Burns has locked Smithers out of the escape pod)
Smithers: For the love of God, sir! There are two seats!
Mr. Burns: I like to put my feet up.
Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.
Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Nonsense, dogs are idiots. Think about it Smithers, if I came into your room and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?
Smithers: Umm...if you did it, sir?
Mr. Burns: Little do they realize their days of suckling at my teat are numbered.
Smithers: Oh, in the meantime, sir, may I suggest a random firing? Just to throw the fear of God into them?
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? New man?
Smithers: He thwarted your campaign for governor, you ran over his son, he saved the plant from meltdown, his wife painted you in the nude...
Mr. Burns: Doesn't ring a bell.
Here's something that should cheer you up, sir. (Smithers is wearing a bear suit) It's me sir, Bobo, hug me, squeeze me, tug at my fur!
