Popular Winston Bishop Quotes
Schmidt: Here are some things you want to hide about yourself on tonight's date--you're cheap, you're a heavy drinker, you're broke, you have a problem with anger.
Winston: Your car is horrible.
He doesn't steal pies from windowsills! He is a real-life homeless person!
Or we could break into a zoo, steal a bear, then we shoot the bear full of Hep C, we release that bear in the restaurant right as they're about to order dessert.
Prostitute: Aren't you a virgin, too?
Winston: Just my penis, baby. Just my penis.
I know you're lying, and I'm hurt, but I'm gonna eat this anyway
I'm staying positive, but I'm pretty sure this is where we die.
I needed your underwear...to sew into my underwear.
Winston: An eye for an eye, Nick; a cat for a cat.
Nick: But what's the other cat?
Hello, Pica? I need a table for five. This is author Toni Morrison.
He's gonna have to get...it rhymes with "flute-ered."
Ain't no way in hell I got a cat brothel going on in my room and I'm the only normal person in this loft.
Winston: Schmidt, you can't move out! Who's gonna do my fades?!
Jess: Yeah, who's gonna do his fades?!