Popular Zapp Brannigan Quotes
I like your style, Fry. You remind me of a young me. Not much younger, mind you. Perhaps even a couple of years older.
Zapp: Your attention, please. As captain of this vessel, the terrible burden of naming a limbo contest winner is mine and mine alone.
Kif: Shouldn't you be steering between the comets?
Zapp: And the winner is, Leela!
Leela: But I didn't even limbo.
Zapp: No matter. I know from personal experience how horizontal you can get.
Leela, perhaps this is an awkward time but if things don't work out with this pipsqueak here... I just want you to know I'll be there to score you on the rebound.
Zapp: Kif, I'm feeling the captain's itch.
Kif: I'll get the powder, sir.
Zapp: No, the itch for adventure! Prepare to change course.
Kif: Sir, this is a leisure cruise. Our path was set by the travel agency.
Zapp: That's for schoolgirls! Now here's a route with some chest hair.
Kif: But that course leads directly through a swarm of comets.
Zapp: Yes, comets! The icebergs of the sky.
Kif: Sir, remember your course correction?
Zapp Brannigan: No.
Kif: Well it's proving somewhat more suicidal than we'd initially hoped.
Lrrr: Give us McNeal!
Zapp: That was McNeal.
Nd-Nd: No, McNeal, the single female lawyer.
Lrrr: She wears miniskirts and is promiscuous.
Zapp: Really?
Zapp: You're a brave robot, son. But when I'm in command every mission's a suicide mission. Which reminds me. Leela, perhaps before we head into battle you'd like to make love to me, in case one of us doesn't come back.
Leela: Maybe we should wait till afterwards, in case neither of us comes back.
Zapp: Here's hoping.
The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it.
Zapp: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well-made bed. You will practise until you can make your bed in your sleep.
Fry: You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
Zapp: You won't have time for sleeping, soldier. Not with all the bed-making you'll be doing.
Zapp: Remember, our mission is simple: Destroy all aliens!
Kif: Um, uh, not me, sir.
Zapp: Oh, yes, right. Nobody destroy Kif... Unless you have to. Oh, ho, ho! The luscious Captain Leela. This is turning into one very sex-ay struggle for the future of the human race!
Leela: Thanks, but I'm not technically human.
Zapp: Right, right. Nobody destroy Leela either.
We're all from different cultures here. Some of you are white, some of you are black. [He stops by a man and points at him.] You're brown. [He moves on to Bender.] And you're silver. But I don't care if your skin's red or tan or Chinese. You're all going to have to learn to die together.
Has my reputation preceded me or was I too quick for it?
