Popular Zapp Brannigan Quotes
Zapp Brannigan: The Democratic Order Of Planets prohibits interfering with undeveloped worlds. It's a little rule known as "Brannigan's Law".
Leela: But people already interfered. That planet was mined completely hollow.
Zapp Brannigan: Yes, by a Democratic Order Of Planets mining crew.
Fry: I heard that one time you single-handedly defeated a horde of rampaging somethings in the something-something-system.
Zapp Brannigan: The Killbots? A trifle! It was simply a matter of outsmarting them.
Fry: Wow! I never would have thought of that!
Zapp Brannigan: You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them, until they reached their limit and shutdown. Kif, show them the medal I won.
(Kif then points to Zapp's chest where the medal is)
Kif: Shall I fire on them now, sir?
Zapp Brannigan: Not yet, Kif. In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.
Zapp Brannigan: Captain's journal. Star date; 3000.3.
Kif: Who are you talking to, sir?
Zapp Brannigan: You! Aren't you getting this? We have detected a vessel attempting to break the security cordon around Vergon 6. I'm anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight, followed by a light dinner... ravioli, ham, sundae bar.
Kif: Sir, they're headed straight for us.
Zapp Brannigan: A well calculated move... straight out of Sun Tzu's ancient text, 'The Art of War.' Or my own master work, 'Zapp Brannigan's Big Book of War.' But the one thing their captain doesn't realize, and never will is tha--
Kif: Sir, they've docked with us and have come aboard.
Zapp Brannigan: Then I have risked all and lost. Kiff old man, I'll be in the escape pod. If that wicker chair I like survives the slaughter have it sent to my P.O. Box.
I doubt I've seen more than three or four captains sexier than you.
I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's law; I merely enforce it.
Zapp: Don't blame yourself, Kif. We were doomed from the start. Nothing remains now but for the captain to go down with his ship.
Kif: Why, that's surprisingly noble of you, sir.
Zapp: No, it's noble of you, Kif! As of now... you're in command. Congratulations, captain!
Zapp: Kif, old friend, I don't know which disgusts me more: Your cowardice or your stupidity! We'll simply set a new course for that empty region over there. Near that black-ish hole-ish thing.
Kif: Captain, may I have a word with you?
Zapp: No.
Kif: It's an emergency, sir.
Zapp: Come back when it's a catastrophe.
Leela: What are we gonna do? Fry can't pretend to be both our boyfriends.
Fry: Sure I can. I learned how to handle delicate social situations from a little show called Three's Company.
Zapp: I'd like to impose a toast on the happy couple. Down the hatch!
Mrs. Wong: Hear, hear! Now let's have a kiss!
Zapp: Yes, Fry. Plant one on your woman.
Fry: Um, let me think. Come and knock on our door, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh. Uh, Mr. Roper-
Mr. Wong: What's the hold up? Kiss my daughter already!
Farnsworth: Wait, I'm confused. Now tell me, Fry, which one of these ladies are you involved with?
Fry: Uh... (He hums the theme to Three's Company again)
Has my reputation preceded me or was I too quick for it?
